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male
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anonymous
writes: I really need people's help with this. My girlfriend's brother took his own life 9 months go and she is still grieving which is understandable. However, I feel that I am not able to help her. I never know what to say, what to do, or how to approach the subject. I just feel like she deserves so much more. What can I do to improve my ability to deal with this subject as a couple, rather than see her go it alone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ladybaby +, writes (22 March 2006):
It is really hard to know what to say to someone who's grieving, especially if you're close to them. A friend of mine lost her brother a few years ago and at the time, what she wanted to do was talk about things he used to do, silly things he'd say and little memories she had of him, but everybody was so scared of upsetting her, everyone skirtted the issue. One day something happened that reminded me of him, and I started giggling, she asked me why I was laughing, and I told her. There were tears, but there were a lot of laughter as well.
She found it a great comfort knowing there was someone she could talk to about him without an awkward atmosphere. What I'm trying to say is just let her know that you are ther for her and that you want to support her. Ask her if she wants to talk about her memories and see what happens - it could be the release you both need.
She's really lucky to have a caring boyfriend like you to lean on.
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (21 March 2006):
 Hey there pet,
Hope I can shed some light onto your problem..
Ok, You could try taking her out for a meal or doing something that just involves the both of you... Something that shows you are there for her at all times of life, even the hard times, like now..
She may already know that you are her rock right now, but to got hrough all the trouble of arranging something, would be just perfect for your girlfriend at this time..
Knowing what to say or do or how to approach the subject is normal, as its not something we are all taught. Everyone has thier own way of handling situations similiar to these..
So dont worry about not knowing what to say as its a known fact that there is alot of people in your shoes who feel the exact same at times like these..
Although do try something like what I suggested, It shows that you are a caring boyfriend letting his girlfriend know that you will always be there for her..
Hope this has been of help to you..
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): Nobody finds it easy to help someone through a difficult time like this.The best thing i can say to you is, just be there for her, comfort her, let her know how much she is loved.She knows you love her and your doing your best to help, i'm sure she appreciates it a lot
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