A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my sister has been going out with a boy she met through her weekend job and they are both students.he is from a different caste to ours and my family have found out and she has been given 6months to get married to him as they dont want her responsibility anymore (my bros pay for her fees).they are both here on student visas and thats the reason my family isnt happy with relation as they are afraid in future if they didnt get work permits etc she would have to go and live in india with him which they dont want.I am the 3rd child and feel very stranded between my bros and sis as i love them all and i sometimes feel that my bros are being unfair and putting to much pressure on her and our parents live in india and are not financially stable at all therefore she cant get any support from them and they too are against this relationship.What shall I do in order to not hurt anyone? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (2 November 2007):
 You sound as if you deeply care for both, however this really isnt your problem. I understand that you are concerned.
If your sister truly wants to be with this man then she will decide what is best for her.
I think it is unfair that your family is pressuring your sister to do this.
The situation you are in by feeling that you are in the middle worries me, you could end up blameing yourself for the out come in either way really. Stand back and ok worry because you are going to do that either way, but let them sort this out. Show no favorism for either side and let them know that you wish not to be on either side.
Good luck and i wish you all the best and your sister.
Peaches
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 You don't have to go either way. Why should you have to agree with him or with her? Be your own person. I'd say, "your all acting like children, so until you grow up I'm staying out of it."
Are you in the UK now? Are they planning the wedding in the UK or back in India. All though your religion, and culture have certain rules regarding marriage. The U.K. respects cultural differences but still has rules of their own. If the marriage is to take place their, your brothers will have to follow U.K. laws regarding the marriage. Meaning, you can't force marriage on someone. A marriage done by force is a voided marriage.
These rules were developed so people could choose who to marry, and they couldn't be forced based on religion, and other factors.
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