A
female
age
30-35,
*ickofboys
writes:k, what is wrong with guys? everysingle time i say basically anything or try to talk to my boyfriend about anything he thinks i am bitching.... like at dinner tonight for example.. i cooked (like always) and told him hes guna do the dishes for once. then the baby started to whine a little and he said to the baby i cant play right now i have to d the dishes becuz mommy just cooked, i then said "you know if u just said that you wanted to do the dishes, it would make me so happy" and i was laughing when i said it. because obvioously know one really wants to do the dishes right.. then he answers back "i obviously want to do them if im doing them" in the bitchiest tone ever.. its like i was joking wtf is wrong with you holy.. then he continues saying ive been bitching since he got home from work blah blah blah.. why does my boyfriend think im out to fucking get him? like im trying to ruin his life n shit like it stresses me out im 8 months pregnant also and we fight 24-7.. whats wrong with "men" these days... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 Depends. He may just be a whiner, or he may have a point. Do you talk to him using the same tone you used in writing this question? Saying things like "I cooked (like always)" or "hes guna do the dishes for once" would be the sort of thing that would put him on edge. So would characterizing his speech like "blah blah blah."
If you're only doing that to vent online, that's fine, it's what this site's here for. In that case, he's just a whiner. Sitting him down and trying to talk to him about it may help some, but mostly you're just going to have to work to make him want to be more helpful. Set an example, and ask him to set an example for the kids. Sincerely thank him when he does things right.
If, however, the way you wrote inhere is how you're talking to him in real life, it's going to make even the most benign, genuine request sound like unsatsifiable bitching. That won't help the situation at all. Even if you were to change completely tomorrow morning, it would still take him a while to adjust to the new you. You would have to be better about it for some time before expecting him to acknowledge it.
Whichever solution applies to you, good luck with it.
A
female
reader, Nouvelle32 +, writes (24 December 2010):
I don't know what's wrong with men, but what you just wrote reminds me of a scene in that movie "The Break-Up" with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn :) I totally understand your pain though... I felt like I did everything in my last relationship (around the house). And then if I wanted him to do anything, I was in trouble for "bitching." It's so frustrating, but I guess what I have learned from that experience is it's all in the way you ask him to do things. Men are sometimes like babies and need coddling. It's like they don't see, notice or care that you just did the laundry, took out the trash, vacuumed the floor and cooked dinner (all trying to make things nice for him)... then you ask for one damn thing and it's like you are the bad mean bitch. So I guess my suggestion would be to ask him very very nicely... instead of demanding that he do the dishes, say, "honey, I have been so busy cleaning, grocery shopping and cooking dinner... it would really help me out so much if you would do the dishes." Guys, feel free to chime in here, because I have had this same problem and I'm at a loss. It's like, my ex hardly ever lifted a finger, I did everything and then I'm to blame because I'm not horny after I've had a long day at work and then come home to a shithole. I feel like I would be so much hornier if my man would OFFER to help out instead of me having to ask.. see, it would be a win win situation :)
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