A
male
age
30-35,
*en345
writes:Hey. I'm 18 and have the simplest question ever. When I'm out clubbing, what's the best way to 'pick up' a girl? I'm not that interested in the casual sex, I want to meet someone and actually get to know them. How should I do it without getting too physical and creepy?
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female
reader, Star xxx +, writes (19 July 2011):
 Hi
All you can do is be yourself act naturally and if you like it dance, most girls i know like a man that likes to dance.
I personally think that is a better option than the bar as it can give the impression you are a big drinker and desperate and that is a big turn off.
Take care xx
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 This is probably a culturally related topic, but what works with me is if a guy says hi, then compliments me on something and ask me a question that could lead to further conversation. The "hi" is important as it is polite to greet someone, and the compliment is an icebreaker and charming. The follow-up question however is crucial, otherwise there will be no conversation or getting to know each other.
Make it something interesting too, so it sounds legitimate. However if a girl is sharp and intelligent she'll understand that you are trying to get to know her. If she likes you/what she sees and how you've approached her, she'll smile back at you and happily chat on. If she ignores you or is brief or short then she wasn't taken away with your charm and probably nothing you could have said would have made a difference.
And remember to SMILE.
I usually chat up guys in a bar by approaching them as they order a drink, like I am waiting in line to order, then say "Oh, that looks interesting, what type of drink is that?" And smile smile smile! Then crack a joke or something. If the person you approached is interested in meeting new people they will catch on and continue the conversation.
You could also offer to buy the lady a drink, ladies love a charmer. Just make sure you can afford it, as it can become an expensive gesture.
If you go out on your own, and they ask you who you are with or why you come to hang out at a club/bar, just say the truth: you enjoy getting to know new people, and maybe you'll be lucky and meet someone special. Also say that you aren't interested in one nighters, if the question is brought up.
Act slightly uninterested. That'll make them want to put in some effort to keep your attention. Be nice and friendly, but somewhat unavailable. For example go and greet people you know (don't stay away for too long though), or invite others to come sit by you so it's not just you and the girl alone.
Look her in the eyes when you talk. And smiiiiiile. Smiling is the key. If she smiles back you're good!
ps. like marieclaire said though, you don't get to know people in a club. You get a chance to get their number and chit chat for a few minutes, then if you do get their number, or a chance to see them again, that's when you can start to get to know them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): I always found that the best way for a guy to pick me up or any woman I know, is for them to simply say hi and introduce themselves. Girls find that the best approach that they can get.
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