A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What has happened to men today . Before anyone tells me that women can also be bad people yes I’m aware of that but I absolutely cannot see anything in the scale of the way men behave . I’m yet to see an industry primarily using the abuse and degradation of men and boys for women’s sexual excitement like porn does . Everyday I look at the news it’s woman after woman being raped and murdered by men. A woman is most i. Danger by the men in her life . Even the men who are killed and abused are primarily abused by other men . Women still make only a percentage of men in nearly every industry except porn and prostitution . It seems the only way a woman can be valued is on her appearance youth and sexuality and that too will be at men’s discrepancy and for THEIR use I’m so tired of the not all men or women are bad too when there simply isn’t a comparison to the numbers that women are abused and degraded by men . The statistics do not lie . Sure there are some good men but what are these good men doing to change the culture of make violence and mysogyny. It seems even this responsibility is put in women . I see people frequently blaming the mothers of men for the way males are instead of calling men to personal responsibility . Ive never once heard someone say a woman’s bad behaviour is the fault of her father not raising her right I absolutely despair for my daughters . Are things improving at all or getting worse . It seems one step forward two steps back
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2021): i couldnt agree more. its high time people realised the scale of abuse going on in society. women are still treated like second class to men everywhere. ive been through so much abuse from men physical violence, verbal and emotional abuse, sexual abuse through relationships and dating ive been treated really badly. everyday when out walking i hear women talking to each other about what men are doing to them and its not very nice what i hear. i am in so much pain and stress from abuse that i need to be alone to feel safe now as the abuse has mentally and physically destroyed me. i dont think i will ever truly recover from it and im 47 years old. i do wish one day i find a kind man
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2021): Hi
@ the anon who is traumatized because a man told her she had a faulty light on her car, this was simply stating a truth, but I agree he could have been a bit more discreet so as to not cause you embarrassment, but really only egos get embarrassed. It could have been laughed off or you could have told him to keep his nose out, where he may have responded '' hey !I was only trying to stop the police giving you a pull'' so many different ways to react to this, maybe he took pleasure in humiliating you.
The men that you say your sister and friends had experiences with have a big fault in their character, the wellington boot episode should have been reported as assault (that's what it was). That's not because he was a man, I have had run in's with many females who are no better.
He may have saved you from getting a pull from the police, he may have been jesting by the wagging finger or took pleasure in trying to humiliate you. If you felt victimized by this then you need to learn to be more vigilant and check your car lights out before driving somewhere so you don't need it pointing out.
If you feel bullied by this type of episode then you need to learn to be more resourceful and not crumble and be more assertive in defending yourself.
Some people just can't be told anything without their feathers getting ruffled, they live in a fearful mindset that knows nothing of true hardships and true bullying that people have had to endure and survive. Yes, women are raped and murdered and the world is full of evil doings and it has an ugliness that many humans find hard to understand, it breaks my heart and until humanity finds 'their' God that teaches love, nothing changes, it just replaces with shadows and fear and division.
Things should be brought to light and we all must speak up and put right what is or has been wrong.
Humanity will always have the force of good and bad to deal with, so need their spirit and faith to trust that their is light, without casting shadows on all peoples.
I used to enjoy getting wolf whistles in my young day's and would whistle back, I never felt bullied or threatened or violated and was certainly not OFFENDED it made my day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2021): Op here
‘I fear for all daughters too, but show them writings by Caitlin Moran and other women writers who have women's backs and can teach them what is going on in the world from their point of view. Teach them what to look out for, but teach them also that there are plenty of wonderful men out there too. Best of luck.’
Thankyou anon . I think you sum up what I’m feeling perfectly and have given me some understanding of why it’s hard for people who havnt exoerienced this to understand . I do indeed know that there are good men out there and in fact I live many men in my life but the level of harm done by toxic masculinity far exceeds anything done by women ( even through they too can have toxic behaviours these don’t lead to mustard fape and violence on the scale that we see inflicted by men )
I just need to focus on the positive and wonderful men and pray for change . Thankyou for hearing me , I know that since opening up about my feelings I’ve had several other women express similar worries so perhaps it’s becoming more acknowledged at least among some
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2021): Hi
You are gender bashing!
Did you have a bad relationship with the father of your two daughters or were there good times?
I have experienced various types of abuse throughout my life but not just from men, but from all types of PEOPLE from all walks of life, enough to feel the pain, emotional ,sexual, mental, physical and phycological. Was I to turn into a people hater? no!
Many Men protect women, we have doctors, nurses, firemen policemen, soldiers, and good men and then we have monsters, evil, people and we have religions and cultures and beliefs that drive PEOPLE to do evil acts.
Yes I almost agree, 'All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing' It should be ALL PEOPLE, as Jesus would exspect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): In my experience and opinion OP, you are right. If a woman is in a happy, supportive relationship, they are shielded from the way in which women are treated in this world and they don't believe it. If a nice, normal supportive male reads posts like yours, they don't believe it either. But I've lived it and often. People find this hard to believe, but I am regularly bullied by men as I go about my day. In the street, in car parks, you name it. My sister has experienced this a lot and we can recognise it for what it is, most people don't understand what is happening.
I have been shouted at by a man filling up his car at a petrol pump, "Don't you know you're not supposed to walk across a forecourt with your head down!" I was trying to avoid walking in spilt oil. I have been told off by a man in a car park for having a faulty head light. He marched across to me and waggled his finger at me, remonstrating with me loud and clear for everyone to hear. I would just have politely pointed it out to someone if I mentioned it at all. The yardstick that I use is, "Would they say that to a man, would they behave this way to a man?" Of course they WOULDN'T!! Many men love to bully us.
A friend of mine came out of the sea after an early morning surf and was walking up a sand dune when a man she'd never seen before asked her, "Haven't you anything better to do?" How dare he? Would he say that to a man? Of course not! But they know that we won't start a fight and so they are safe to make themselves feel big. My sister was told off by a man in a car park for wearing wellington boots in summer! He grabbed her roughly by the arm and asked with a sneer, "Enjoying your wellingtons are you?" and pushed her away from him. In all these cases and I have many more examples, they would not and do not behave this way towards men. Because they would be too scared.
My surfer friend was really affected by what this man said to her. She couldn't understand it. She started questioning herself and her actions. When I explained this bullying phenomena to her, she suddenly saw the comment for what it was and became incensed that this man should judge her out of the blue. For no reason. He had absolutely no right.
I think this is one of the reasons why men and women don't believe that this sort of thing happens. Because they don't recognise it for what it is. Once you realise and recognise the way women are treated in this world (and the bullying phenomena is just one example) they become outraged as you have. You suddenly see it.
Women are killed every day by their spouses, by other males in their families and there aren't any world wide protests about it. The first question the police ask when there is a death of a female is "Who was she dating? Who is the man in her life?"
Women are at risk of violence and of bullying every day. Caitlin Moran wrote a brilliant article about how brave women have to be to go on a date. To try and get men to realise how scary it is to go for a walk on your own. About how we have to plan ahead about some sort of escape plan if we should find ourselves in a wood, walking, and a man tries to be friendly.
Men have NO CLUE that life is like this for women. NO clue. Caitlin Moran wrote the article so that men might start to understand. The men she spoke to about this article COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!! That we have to think this way. That we have to be so cautious all the time.
Another woman I know went walking on her own and a man came up to her whilst she was walking across a field. He had binoculars slung around his neck. He struck up a conversation with her and tried to get her to look through them, tried to get the strap over her head. She was terrified and knew it wasn't right, some people appeared quite a long way away in the distance and she pointed to them and pretended they were her friends and that she had to go. She ran off in their direction and got away. She went straight to the police and told them what happened. They poo pooed her, said she was basically wasting their time. A few days later the same man was arrested for killing a woman by strangling her with his binocular strap. We enter a potential nightmare when we leave the house. And as you said it happens the other way round too, but not to the extent that it happens to women, by men. Nowhere near. And it's NOT propaganda. Many women who have killed and are in prison have done so because they were either in an abusive relationship and coerced and brain-washed or because they would be safer in jail than with their abusive partner and the only way they can escape the daily tyranny of domestic terrorism was to kill them and accept the fate of prison instead. Abuse towards women happens all the time, every day, it is rife.
I watched a TedTalk by a transgender person, transitioned from male to female. She did a talk to say that she had NO IDEA what women have to put up with. She said she didn't know that now she was a woman she have trouble trying to prove that she knew what she was talking about. To be taken seriously. She said she wanted to apologise to any women she may have spoken to AS A MATTER OF COURSE, in that way, whilst she was a man.
As I said, once you wake up and see what's happening, you feel outraged and yes FA it is painful, but not for the reason you think. There are some lovely men in the world and I know some very lovely men personally, but they are ignorant as to how we are treated by society day to day at street level.
I fear for all daughters too, but show them writings by Caitlin Moran and other women writers who have women's backs and can teach them what is going on in the world from their point of view. Teach them what to look out for, but teach them also that there are plenty of wonderful men out there too. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): Hi
I think living your life and holding values on statistics is unhealthy (truth or not truth). I judge people by their individual characters, as they will judge me. If a man is the type of character you mention in your post, then that's him as a person, it's who he is, or what he wants to be.
You look at the news every day, or read the papers, then I am not surprised that you are been brainwashed into polarized thinking, the media feed us what they want to stir up, social media feeds us what it wants to stir up. We are in far more danger of not 'thinking' for our selves and using our own god given instincts and only believing or relying on algorithm's and statistics.
It's ridiculous to say statistics don't lie, of cause they can lie, manipulate and distort truth. Have you ever heard the quote 'Mark Twain famously popularized in the public consciousness, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
You worry for your daughters, I would be more concerned about their own involvement in social media and TV and following the sheep in this particular time and not learning to use their own mind and common sense for judging characters.
Your negative perception of men is going to implant negative thoughts into your daughters and probably train them to mistrust all men in their lives, not a good way to learn to love. Too many haters in this world and sometimes it's the passive ones.
It's some people, not their gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or computerized statistic.
Humanity, may one day, have to live by what algorithm's kick out, and be defined by a godless statistic.
This is what needs guarding the whole of humanity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): And for the record wiseowl I did not make blanket statement , I stated facts that are backed by statistics . Men DO commit most murders and rapes . Men , child abuse . Women are MOST at risk from the men in their lives
It’s a sad fact that any woman who even cares to bring up these facts and shine them in the light is chastised and shut down , labelled man haters instead of men saying yes we need to stand against our brothers who do those acts and make change . I believe Jesus will judge and it won’t be those who simply speak the truth who will be judged but those who try to silence them
All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): Sure I can explain that statistic fatherly advice . Men are commuting the VAST amount of rapes buffers and other crimes here just as in other countries . It’s not rocket science
And wise owl I think you are missing the pint . Rapes murdered and child sexual abuse , all things that are MOSTLY committed by me. Are not just gender based personality flaws
I’m not just talking about some weakness for shoe shopping or gossip or for going to the pub or whatever that either gender may have
You both seem unable to see that the types of things men are doing are actually killing and sexually abusing women in number far greater than women do anything near
Blaminv testosterone seems like a massive cop out . Men and only men it would seem have the ability to make change but considering the arguments from men here so far seem to be that women do just as bad ( a lie ) and women are not incarcerated as often ( they are not commuting crime in the same numbers ) this shows the exact issue with men I’m talking about .
No wonder it’s a hard read
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): I assume this is a rhetorical-question?
Well, it is a biological-fact that male-aggression is fueled by testosterone; and the rest is a matter of what we're taught, and the environment under which we are nurtured and developed from children. If you allow yourself to build resentment and prejudices against people for their gender, race, and sexual-orientation; all you will allow yourself to see is the worst in them.
You made some very valid and factual comments; but bias due to some personal hostilities and resentment has made you see bad-behavior as a male-proclivity; and no, you don't getaway with blanketed sexist and bigoted remarks about anybody without being corrected!
If people went around self-righteously criminalizing people for their gender, I'm sure they'd come-up with just as many negative gender-specific attributes, personality-flaws, and wicked behaviors for females. Ask any misogynist! Fact is, sin is sin, and evil is evil; and it's "human nature." If you want to stereotype and attribute evil-behavior primarily to one gender, based on unspecified statistics; first you might want to do some self-searching. Why do you harbor such notions and hostilities towards males? You use the same rationale as any other bigot. Who'll easily identify an unlimited number of reasons to justify hatred and discrimination.
It is true, that "mankind" is cruel, ungodly, sinful, and idolatrous. God is going to judge us all someday; and I don't think our gender is going to be relevant. Meanwhile, you're in no position to do His work for Him. I think learning to love and forgive might be a better practice than hate. God commands it! Let Him deal with the evil-doers.
Hating on men is unhealthy. Obviously, there are a few particular men, or one specific man, in your life; who has brought you to this state of mind and opinion. To teach your daughters to be man-haters, based on your own prejudices and biases; is not only bad-parenting, but may be an indication you may need to seek therapy for psychological-trauma. Instead, maybe you should seek spiritual-counseling from the leadership of your worship ministry; to help you to learn to "love thy neighbor as thyself." Only Jesus, and our Father in Heaven, reserve the right to judge any of us; and we best not cast any stones, unless we're ourselves without sin. Being a female doesn't exculpate any segment of humanity of the capacity to do evil; it is inherent in human nature.
The better question is, what has happened to people today? Which God wouldn't hesitate to tell us in a heartbeat!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (11 January 2021):
 Well that was absolutely painful to read. It's hard to imagine that a person could believe the propaganda that much.
Please explain the following statistic from your home country. "In 2017 males made up 91.9% of prisoners,[9] despite males only being roughly half the adult population.
In 2017 the female imprisoned population in Australia was 8.1% of the total adults that are incarcerated.[9]"
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