A
female
age
36-40,
*inkerbell23
writes:I'm 23 and my fiance is 38. We're due to get married next year but I'm worried about the future of the relationship. I love him more than anything,trust him completely and we have a perfect relationship compared to my friends dating men their own age. What will it be like when i'm 45 and he's 60? Or when I retire and he's 80? He's very young at heart and we're both financially stable but should i get out now before we get married?
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female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 If we each had a crystal ball and could see what would happen in 'the future'...it would be a pretty easy/boring?? life wouldn't it. Sometimes you have to risk losing in order to truly gain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Have you ever heard of the saying "If it ain't broke don't try and fix it"? I think that this applies here.Look at the facts: You love him and he loves you. He makes you happy and you make him happy. You have a good life together, so don't look for problems, as life will throw enough of those at any relationship between couples of any ages.Now for the gloomy part - you don't know how long you will have together of what life will be like simply because NO-ONE does! We can all hope that we will have a wonderful life with a partner and celebrate our Golden wedding aniversary together with joy, but non of us can be absolutely certain that is what life has in store for us, so we live day by day and enjoy the love we have. ANYTHING could happen to EITHER of you at ANY time, regardless of your age. For all you know HE could be the one left alone at 45 if something happened to you! And that's my point, you DON'T know what the future holds for either of you, so enjoy the good times now instead of worrying about 20 or 25 years from now!BTW, I remember being 23 and 38 did seem pretty old to me then, too, but people are living longer, having better, healthier lives and are staying much more active than ever before. There are people in their 60's, 70's, 80's and even 90's who are smashing their way out of the "pipe and slippers" pigeon hole that they used to be pushed into and living happy, fulfilling and extremely active lives with all the zest and lust for life of someone your age! Who is to say that your lovely man won't be one of these people and that it will be YOU, my dear, who has trouble keeping up with HIM!?If he is as wonderful as you say, and you genuinely love him then stop worrying about your future together in 20+ years and relax and enjoy the love and happiness that you have now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): I think you need to close your eyes and imagine yourself years from now. What will you be doing? Where will you be living? A family perhaps? Then envision who is by your side. If this is your fiance, then you are making the right decision. There's few boundaries when it comes to love. Yes there will be unique challenges to your relationship, but that holds true for any relationship.
If you two are compatible, deeply in love, and most importantly best friends, then follow your heart. The people that truly care for you will want you happy and support your relationship unconditionally.
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