A
female
age
41-50,
*ingless
writes:My bf has been talking about he wants stability in his life. He is tired moving place to place. He wants to find that one person he can come home to. He says that he really wants to settle down and hopes that I'm that person. He wants to see how far we can go. Does he mean marriage or just someone he can rely on? What does he really mean when he says he wants to settle down? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tomas +, writes (15 February 2009):
I would understand "how far we can go" to be seeing if your relationship has what it needs to become a marriage. Another way to say the same thing might be, "I'm at the point in my life where I want to find someone who I'd want to marry, and who would want to marry me, buy a house and start a family. I'm not interested in just dating or playing around. I want to know if you are interested in the same thing."It gives you a warning that if you aren't interested in something serious at this point in your life, or with him, that it's best you tell him now. It lets you know that if you are interested in those things, that he is too and you aren't wasting your time. And finally it is a way of talking about marriage without setting expectations that either of you know whether each other is actually the one you want to marry. It's more a "marriage, just maybe, okay?"At least that's how I'd read it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): I would think that when a guy says he wants to settle down and have stability in his life, he means marriage. But what I don't understand is the part "He wants to see how far we can go". That is a bit strange. If 2 people get married, they go all the way to make it work. You don't just simply get a divorce if things don't work out. Then why get married in the first place? I think it's best to ask your boyfriend directly what he means. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Why don't you ask him? He is the only one with the answers!
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