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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, are there any guy readers who could tell me what they look for in a girl. See I'm sixteen and I've never actually been asked out, even though I'm quite pretty, I'm funny and I keep a smile on my face and act bubbly, but not too boisterous and annoying, so why don't guys ask me? I'm WAY too scared of rejection to ask a guy out! What qualities do you look for in a girl? What am I doing wrong? I'm really tiny for my age, does that put a guy off?Also, is there any girls on this site that have a boyfriend (or have had one) who could tell me why your boyfriend went for you? Has anyone else had this problem,? I want a boyfriend so badly, not to be like my friends, but just someone to be there for me, and for the excitement of it all. You know. Please don't tell me to wait any longer, I've been patient for fifteen years. Thank you, lol. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2006): Hun, dont worry about it at the mo. You're probably really sweet, really nice, got a tidy personality and for somebody your a 10 on 10 girl. You probably don't do nothing wrong, but your like me, too scared of rejection! I feel exactly the same, but obviously its a gf i'm lookin for! lol - it seems i have the same symptoms as you tho. If your welsh its a bonus, lol! If your not no difference, if you need someone to talk to and u know of a way to email or IM then i'll be there for you as a friend, i always hope that there's someone there i can talk to as well. Gareth. xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): I know it probably sounds like a cliche'. But somthing should happen for you sooner or later. You seem like the type of person i would look at.As for the question of what guys look for, it depends on what type of guy you want to attract. Dont try and attract the noisy popular guy who seems to have a lot of attention becuase that will end up in tears i think. Becuase guys like them always seem to move on, no matter how good of a girlfreind they have. The type of person you want to look for is someone like you. Who is looking to start out in a relationship, this way you wont feel like you have to put on a false act when you are with them. You will be more confertable. As for attracting guys, well you seem to have everything right as far as i can see. Mabie you are a little too shy, talk more and make more effort. Try and find new places where guys and girls your age hang out. I am sure you will be fine whichever way you choose in the end. Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): people have a weird way of knowing what a person's true motivations are, even when it seems like they're hidden. You really want a bf. It may be that the guys you know pick up on this, and they're not sure what to do with it - maybe there's too much pressure. Maybe you seem a little desperate, or a little too contrived in your dealings with guys. Maybe it's not you - it's them.But take heart. I was 15 before I got my first kiss, and no one called me their "girlfriend" until I was 19. And I was worried about whether it meant I was dull, or unlikable, or not pretty enough, or fat, or whatever. You know what? It was none of those things. It was the fact that teenage boys are shy and insecure and pretty much everyone's romantic life looks more exciting than your own at that age. Looking back, I wish I'd spent less time worrying about not having a bf and more time just enjoying what I did have - great friends, cool job, etc.Also, for what it's worth, it does get better. I'm 25 now, and I'm finding the choices are all mine. Suddenly - weirdly - guys started flocking to me some time in college. Maybe it's cause I grew up, or maybe it's cause they did. But now, honestly, I could get a date with pretty much any guy I wanted. That doesn't mean I could get a relationship with any guy I wanted - not all guys are interested in falling in love, and even if they were, not everyone would find that they'd fall in love with me. But having started slow, I'm pleased to say my love life is basically anything I want it to be. And the fact that I started a little slower helped me to appreciate factors that are sometimes lost on my girl friends that dated more when they were younger. The "cool" guys are rarely the best guys. Good looks can be important to an extent, because it's nice to have that tingly feeling inside you. But far more important is the guy who'll make you laugh - who'll open the door for you - who'll be a little goofy when it's just the two of you b/c he doesn't have to put on an act. Being patient sucks, but you'll be glad you were. Stop thinking about what you're doing or not doing and wait for life to come to you at its own pace. I don't think I'd have believed you if you told me when I was 15, but trust me - there's a lot more to life than boys.
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