A
female
age
30-35,
*ommy Dearest
writes:My fiance and I have been together for almost two years, have been engaged for one. We have a four in a half month old together. My question is What can I do to save and repair what we have?Let me give you some background. Shortly after we first got together I made a big mistake. We broke up and got back together shortly ofter. For about a year he had drawn away from me, It felt as if he was with me but not really with me. (If that makes since) Then after a year of us being together and having a child together he decided that he feels as if he needs to get his payback. While in a fight he admitted to making out and leaving me while I sleep to go to her house for 3am "Movie" time. After this had happened we talked and he had said that for that year i was working to keep us together and happy that he was pulling himself away from me and wasn't trying to keep us together. He now say's that he Knows he is in love with me and wants to make things work. My thing is I am unsure if I can. I was trying for about a year with no help. I think I might just be at the end. I still love him. He gave me my son and has done so much for me, But I feel myself falling out of love with him as the days past. I guess my question again is What can I do to save and repair what we have?I do want things to work!
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female
reader, Mommy Dearest +, writes (2 October 2008):
Mommy Dearest is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Smiles, we have sat down and talked and we both want to make it work. We have talked and we are stating to do things like before and we are both trying.
Thank you for you comment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Dear Poster
It seems as if your relationship has been very much like a roller coaster; up and down; however, you need to do some stock taking; are you sure you want to be with him? Are you sure you are committed to this relationship and WANTS to make it work?
If you are BOTH committed and keen to make it work there is hope, but otherwise you will just be delaying the agony.
I suggest you both have a very calm and loving discussion of what you want and how you see the future; if you are both wanting to put the PAST BEHIND YOU and work towards a new TOMORROW you can with lots of determination and dedication.
You will have to start loving each other again; start doing things like you use to when you started dating; think about all the good qualities in each other that attract you in the first place; start respecting each other and make a list of what you value in each other; you also have a child to take in consideration and whose future you need to keep in mind.
If at all possible it will be great if you can both go for a few sessions of counseling; it will help you both to clear the "vents" and to get your relationship on track again.
Start giving each other lots of attention, affection, love and respect.
Hope this is of assistance;
Keep us updated and keep SMILING.
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