A
female
age
30-35,
*weetSmoochy
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 and a half months, but haven't had sex!We are very close and have a strong connection, however, he is reluctant to fully have sex with me. We have fooled around orally and we both obviously turn each other on, plus, neither one of us is a virgin, and he has had far many more partners than I have. Even so, he keeps insisting that it's not the right time and that we need to wait for that. The thing is, it's been almost four months. We are so close to one another emotionally. I think the right time is upon us. I've tried to think of hidden reasons why he wouldn't want to. Penis insecurities? I don't think so because we have oral sex all the time. I'm quite familiar with his penis. He's concerned about an STD he doesn't want to tell me about? No, I've asked, and he wouldn't let me give him head if that was the case, he and I care about each other too much. pregnancy concerns? I'm on the pill, have condoms, as well as spermicide. So I'm thinking it really is that he's waiting for the "right time". How do I convince him the right time is now? Thanks!
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (20 January 2011):
SweetSmoochy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys!!
Yeah...I'm a very physical person when I really care for someone, so I do tend to want to move in to the sex stage once I figure that out. I haven't been with many guys, only two, and one other orally. I'm just so ready for that connection with him. I wish he was.
Youre probably right about his worries about sex ruining our relationship. It's still very frustrating to have to keep waiting. It feels like we've been stuck in the foreplay rut forever!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Maybe he just wants to wait until he's more comfortable? Especially at your age, three months is not that long. I'm a grown man and I prefer it take around three or four months.
Instead of seeing it as a race, try to enjoy the process, savor it; each stage of your relationship only lasts so long, and then it's gone forever (huh, normally I say that to guys).
If you really want the right time to be *now*, next time you're in a situation where you'd be getting oral on each other, just pull out a condom, put it on him, and tell him you're ready. If he's ready, he'll go for it; if not, he'll say so. If he's not, tell him you understand, and go back to oral - don't discuss it until at least 48 hours later, or he'll be defensive.
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A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (20 January 2011):
Well I'm not real experienced on convincing guys to have sex with me (I'm a straight guy so I could give a shit less about that) but maybe hes been through some relationships where he was used or sex ruins things, your awful young to be sleepin with different guys as is he. So maybe hes nervous about sex ruining things for the two of you, maybe he thinks hes bad at it?
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