A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help...I was recently seeing a guy and we parted ways because he didn't seem to care about my feelings, or at least i think that's what happened. He hasn't called or tried to contact me. I cannot get over this. I really liked him but i don't feel he is in the same frame of mind. I want to be with him but i don't want to be hurt. I have alot to offer someone but just wish he would show a little more emotion with me or get over him. How do i do that?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (6 May 2008):
 If you remember the reasons you parted with him, because he didn't care about your feelings, then you left him because you thought this would give him a jumpstart to start caring, a wake-up call. The problem is, you left with an expectation, not because you were ready to end the relationship, and that expectation is not being met. Now your stuck. You took a risk, the right one and the only one that could possibly work in your favor, but you weren't prepared for the outcome. I know this is hard, but you have the answer- he's not willing to care for your feelings. Nothing has changed except now you know reality and this is hard to acknowledge, right? The problem is, if you go back to him now, he will actually be LESS likely to accomodate your needs because now he knows you will take him back (actually pursue him to get him back) without him making any effort or changing at all. This gives him more power and you, no power. If you don't like this, you are going to have to sit it out and either wait until he realizes what he's lost and is willing to make changes to get you back, which may never happen, or move on. Once you give an ultimatum and you don't stick to it, things get worse, okay? Be strong.
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