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We have reconnected but he's in a relationship, should I pursue him or back off?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok... So I've known this guy since middle school and we recently started talking, it had been years since we've seen each other (we're both 27 now). I just recently found out that he's been in a relationship for 5years and they have 2 little boys that are 3 and 4. We seem to connect on a level I never expected us too! When we talk about the situation he tells me that they barely even speak to each other when their home... Usually he's in one room and she's in the other! he also told me that they have sat down on a few different occasions ( before and after I came in to the picture) and discussed separating because their both unhappy; ! I know that anyway Which way you slice this situation we're starting off wrong! I actually feel really bad we're both confused and I'm not sure if I should just back off, which by the way, would be really hard to do! But I can do it if necessary! Also, I have a 3yr old little girl myself, so there are babies involved on both parts...situation is complicated but not messy as of yet... Trying to avoid messy! Alittle feedback please

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010):

Also, you do know that some men lie about being unhappy in a relationship just to get into your pants ??. Be careful !.

However, if he is telling the truth, you should only pursue this when he has actually split up with his girlfriend, and that you are sure that he has.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010):

Please, think about your child and his children !!. How do you think they would feel if they found out you had an affair with someone when they are older ?. It could happen, and they will lose any respect for you both. They would be devastated !!. And do you really want to be a home wrecker ?. I'm sorry, but these kind of stories really annoy me. If you have any decency, you will leave him alone completely or just be friends. Find a nice, single guy that you can have a relationship with.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (19 June 2010):

xanthic agony auntBack off. He's already taken, and you have a child to worry about.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010):

Well to cause less pain to what already sounds like a difficult situation I wouldn't persue him whilst he's still in a relationship, even if it's not a happy one.

Maybe tell him how you feel and give him the opportunity to end the relationship with his wife and be with you.

Trust, if you persue for now it will get messy, all i can say is give him the opportunity to do what he wants, seeing as, in this situation, you are the third person.

Hope it helps

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