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We had sex and he still talks to me but not about that night. Does that mean he doesn't have feelings for me?

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Question - (11 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *ptongirl3112 writes:

Recently went on a night out with my team from work. Had a brilliant night with lots of drinks. Later on in the night found myself getting very close to my male team leader (same age as me) and we ended up having sex that night. Since then we havent really spoken about it at all, he does still talk to me asking how I am and stuff which is nice but have thought that since he doesnt want to talk about it he doesn't have any feelings for me. Since that night I feel like I'm seeing him differently and maybe I feel something but he's my team leader I don't want things to be awkward please help

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (16 May 2015):

You're trying to attach your feelings to a one-night stand, "after lots of drinks." It was drunk-sex, and that kind of sex is meaningless to most guys. Of course he will politely ask you how you're doing; you work together.

Just by the tone of your post; one could guess you'll have an emotional-outburst, if he doesn't offer some kind of polite response or show he cares about you. He's hoping you'd just chill about it, and let it pass.

Sex was putting the cart before the horse. It happened under the influence of alcohol; without a real romantic-connection leading up to intimacy. He's in a position to get rid of you, if you rock the boat; fearing you will try and manipulate or embarrass him somehow.

Can you let it pass without feeling "the day-after remorse?"

Roll your feelings back. Nothing romantic is going to come of it. He makes no reference to it; because it doesn't mean as much to him as it does to you. It was sex. You're very young, somewhat naive, and you will learn from this experience.

What lessons are there to be learned here? Don't get drunk with co-workers. Don't allow alcohol to overrule your better judgement. You shouldn't be messing around with guys you work with. Now things are going to get awkward. You're going to feel emotional and behave unprofessionally on the job. You'll likely say you won't in response; but your post is screaming you're just about on your way.

That's an invitation to get yourself fired. He doesn't have to do it himself; he can do it in a roundabout way.

It was consensual-sex; and he is not obligated to have a relationship with you. Keep the "incident" to yourself, and never allow him to touch you again. Never, ever!!! Period!!!

Back completely away and put professional-distance between you. Insist from now on, that all men woo you the right way.

If you're going to have casual-sex; consent with no feelings attached. Better yet, don't do it; if you're not cutout for it. I hope with all my heart you used condoms!!!

If he doesn't have feelings for you; hold your head up, and let it go. You know better now, than you did before.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2015):

A guy engaging in consensual premarital sex is no indication he had any feelings about the person at all. So, you had sex with your supervisor; that very well may be why he isn't discussing he matter. Sexual harassment suits happen. I am clueless to, a few points in this; who else knows you and he had sex? What is your company policy on fraternization? Are either of you married?

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