A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused505
writes:I have a problem with staying with people after we become intimate. I met this guy and he is really cute and nice and everything that I say I want and we finally become initimate and I want to throw it all away for no reason, everything was great, no complaints so I am confused. I have done this to other people in the past and I really want to know what is my problem? I have been in a committed relationship before and it was just fine so why now when I meet someone who I really like I throw them away I am tired of sabotaging everything I like. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): Hi Confused, I noticed you didn't have much answers so I'll try to help if I can.
I can only think of two reasons for you to act like this. First because you think sex is dirty and wrong. Maybe somebody told you that you shouldn't enjoy sex and it's dirty unless you get married. Many girls get told this, and deep in their mind they can never feel comfortable being intimate with somebody. The problem is solvable, you just need to spend some time correcting this type of faulting thinking.
The other reason maybe because you don't think you deserve happiness and nice things. The more a guy treats you good, the more you think that's something's wrong with him because you really don't believe that you deserve to be loved and cared for.
You've been in a long term relationship, well how long, who finished it, how did the guy treat you at the time, how long since it finished. Maybe the problems off your first relationship are still with you, maybe your still in love with him and feel like your being unfaithful, or maybe he hurt and rejected you and made you feel so bad, that you can't relax and trust someone and your frightened to fall in love again... Not sure honeypie, you haven't given enough details for us to tell what's going on in your head.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): I look forward to reading your replies,as this is the way my ex behaved in the past and did the same thing to me, even though I know he loved me.
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