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female
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*raziiblondie
writes: Hi, I'm 18 and totally in love with my boyfriend. Hes the greatest, smart, funny, charming and just and awesome guy. Hes the only one I want to be with, the only one I can picture myself with, but the problem is we fight a lot! It could be because we live together, or the fact that he gets mad at EVERYTHING! For example one day we went to the store to return something for his mother, while he waited in the car I went in to return it. They wouldn't take it back so I went out to the car and told him, he called his mother and she asked if the would give her store credit. When he got off the phone with her he was like you're so stupid! You can't do anything right, why didn't you ask if you could get store credit while you were in there?! He wasn't mad at me long but he will get mad at me for stupid things like that all the time and ignore me all night and when I ask to talk about it he won't talk to me! It gets me so mad! He just wants to ignore everything and when he' ready to stop being mad at me he thinks everything is fine and it's not! I try to tell him this but he doesn't want to hear it. He just ignores me and tells me to shut up because I'm making him mad. I tell him maybe if we would talk about the problem then we might not fight as much. Another thing is he doesn't have a job and I keep telling him to get one because I don't want to continue living with his parents. I love his parents but I don't want to be a "freeloader" He has been looking for work but he's not very successful. I don't know what to do. The fighting HAS to stop! The last couple of days we have been doing all right. But sometimes he lies to me about little things and I hate it, I NEVER lie to him. Should I move out? My good friend that I confide in says I should move out, she says that if I move out maybe he'll realize he needs to grow up. I'm just scared that if I do it then we will be over forever. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. I know that if he truly loves me he will call and try to work things out, if he doesn't call then I guess it wasn't meant to be. I don't know if I can really take getting that hurt. I know that I will end up getting hurt in the long run if it's not meant to be. What should I do? I love him so much but this is really tearing me up inside. He tells me he wants to be together forever, if this is true he'll come back. But what if he realizes he likes being single better?! I'm so confused!! Please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xLx +, writes (22 January 2006):
I think she's right get rid of this idiot. You will get hurt in the long run. He doesn't care about you as much as you do about him. And I think he'll drag you down if you don't get out now. He'll make you feel like you're nothing and you can't do any better. But you can! I know you love him, but it isn't always enough of a reason to stay with someone. You deserve better girl, move out!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 January 2006):
 Maybe it's time to step back and look at your boyfriend as an outsider -- like me -- would. Frankly, I'm wondering what's so great about him.
A.) He's unemployed. B.) He lives with mum and dad, and isn't able to support himself. He mistreats you, and implies that you're inferior to his great wisdom, in spite of points A and B. C.)He fights unfairly, by starting something he won't then discuss. D.) He doesn't apologise, or recognise that anything's wrong. E.) He's not taking any steps to fix things between you. F.) He wants to be "together forever", and thinks that's a good thing, given points A-E!
And you're worried about "losing" him? Honey, I'd be running fast to get away from a bludger like him.
Nowhere in your long letter have you listed anything about this guy that's very loveable, so is it just possible that he's your first serious relationship? Is it also possible that you're so in love with the idea of love that you don't see that this guy is a waste of space?
It's something to consider...
And as to whether you should move out, I give that a big thumbs up. Hopefully, it will be YOU who recognises how much you enjoy being single, once you're free of this jerk.
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