A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm about to turn 21 and I live with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I don't want to be with him anymore. I haven't for awhile now. I love him, but I feel unfulfilled and need more. I don't know why I can't break up with him. There is something wrong with me. People break up with people everyday, but for some reason I can't? I'm demented or something when it comes to this kind of stuff. I guess its because he never did anything to me and I feel bad breaking his heart. I dunno. How do I break up with him? I am not happy and I am screwing up at college because I just don't care. Our life is so boring we never do anything and I get up and go to work and come home everyday and what happens? I'm bored and unhappy yet I can't break up with him. I really want to look into other options for school. Maybe an out of state school, but I can't do that with a boyfriend I live with. We became too serious too fast and I feel bad that I moved in with him without really thinking how I would feel a couple years later. I'm not sure what I am even asking here. Why can't I break up with him? Whats the best way to do it? Has anyone else ever been in this situation before? I love him, but I'm unhappy. I dunno...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): are you the kind of person who can't stand the thought of people disliking you, and who is afraid of conflict and would rather allow people to hurt you than to stand up for yourself and risk them rejecting you? do you base a huge part of your identity on being a "nice girl" and being well liked and being kind and caring and never hurting anyone?
if so - this could be why you're afraid to break up with him.
A
female
reader, Thepolarbear  +, writes (22 June 2011):
I'm 21 and I've been in this situation before and I know it's easy to say leave him, but it feels impossible to actually do it!
I was living with a guy I was with for three years and I didn't care about college, I was feeling so down and I couldn't work out why
we didn't do much so our relationship was like an elderly couple's relationship. Things reached a point when it hit me one day that I wasn't in love with the guy anymore. I loved him but I wasn't IN love with him. After a few months debate I decided enough was enough and I told him I needed to seperate so I could straighten my head out and live life a little.
I haven't got back with him although it was extreamly hard to begin with.
I am now doing all of the things in life that I wanted to do when I was 18/19. 8 months on I'm training to be a midwife, I'm enjoying going out with my friends and I'm enjoying not having to worry about someone else
in my opinion, being with someone for three years when your only 21 is not ideal. Your still young, live your life the way YOU want to. Be selfish before you have children and a husband, it's the only time you can be selfish. If you and your partner are ment to be together you will be. Maybe you need the time apart to realise just how much you love him and to get that spark back.
Hope I helped a little and I wish you the best with whatever choice you make :)
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