A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been getting to know this guy for a couple of months now. We are both single, there is an attraction there and we get along very well, and we agreed to just taking things slow and get to know each other.Over the last week I have noticed he hasn't really been interested in talking to me as much and whenever we do talk I have to start the conversation and he doesn't make much input and often the conversation ends quickly.The texts messages and phone calls have also stopped totally.Usually when a guy starts to show less interest I blame myself and I will run the other direction to protect myself from getting hurt. I go as far as totally ignoring and putting no effort in to it anymore.Am I going about this the right way..or what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Hi, Im the OP.
It was his idea initially to take it slow. I was happy to go with it.
He ended up saying he was sorry he had not been very chatty, yet he didn;t say why. and I didn't approach him about.
Iv dated a couple of guys that lasted a month or so and the same things happen, the first time I tried finding out what the issue was but I was just totally ignored and that hurt.
I'm not really in to chasing guys, if they don't talk to me anymore I just assume they are not interested and they don't have the heart to say it to my face.
I also don't want to put him in to a position were he just says that he does like me but only says that because he can't deal with the pressure of confrontation or doesn't want to hurt my feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): You say you both agreed to take it slow. Whose idea was that initially? Because it may well have been too slow and stagnated because of that.
There's nothing wrong with taking things slowly, in general that's wise but going too slow can be as bad as going too fast.
It's possible that is the case here but it's also possible he has other things going on at the moment in his life that have caused him to be distracted.
I understand why you would close yourself off to protect yourself but you should try talking first OP and figure out what's going on. You speak of this like it's a frequent thing with guys you date. Well if it's happening a lot then perhaps it might be the way you approach dating. You're possibly too guarded andclosed off to guys and they just give up after a while. Talk to this guy and find out what's going on. If you like this guy then perhaps this is something you can fix the only way you'll know is by talking. If it's not something that can be remedied then at least you'll know what went wrong.
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