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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, thank you for all your advice. I am meeting my ex tonight to talk more. I have asked my current bf where he sees us in the future and as he is a very laid back person he just replied with 'who knows what could happen - i dont want to worry about the future'. On the other hand I have my ex telling me he wants to spend a future with me and 'commit' to me for the rest of his life as he dont want to lose me again! I feel guilty meeting him behind my bf's back tonight but he is cooking me dinner and we are going to chat. We are looking forward to seeing eachother again (even though it was only last saturday we met) but im also concerned that it isnt going to help my decision and will only make things worse?!? When my bf and I have a laugh and get on at home (last night for example) I wonder why im even considering all this. My bf's 2 best friends are going travelling next week and he also has nowhere to go if we sell the house!! All this is going round in my head! Any more advice would be really appreciated! Thank you for reading. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): Yup, I agree with Rich. I believe there's that bit of deceit here with you doing things behind your bf's back. I'm sure he won't appreciate it, unless he's too lazy to care. It seems like you're rushing to get married, have babies, and become a grand mother all in the near future. If these doubts of your's are so overbearing, and you must take a 'risky' chance with your ex behind your bf's back, then I really suggest you tell it straight with your bf and break-up with him. I'm not saying your bf deserves better and you deserve less, but at the very least, he doesn't deserved to be emotionally cheated on.
A
male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (2 June 2006):
 If you are considering going out with your ex, behind your boyriends back, you haven't given him a fair chance at a future. A laid back partner is not always a cheating partner or a futureless partner. Some people see life as a wave, you just go along with the motion and enjoy the ride. Some people have to have a plan in order to move on in life. If you have chosen to go out with your ex, with out telling your current boyfriend, you need a game plan in life, and it sounds like you have already chosen the plan over the wave. Part of the plan must involve coming clean with your boyfriend. Sooner hurts less than later emotionaly and financialy.
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