A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do I know that I'm doing the right thing? I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years. he loves me so much that he has been fighting to keep us together. I feel bad for not wanting to work at it anymore. I just don't care that much about the relationship. I care about him immensly but I don't think we should be in a relationship. I've tried so many times to break up with him but he won't get broken up with. i'm going out of the country for a month in two weeks time and I'm thinking that will give him the clean break to make shim stop trying. how do I stop him trying? am I making the right decision? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): You have to be firm. get that no into his head. Forget trying to be friends. He loves you end of story. He will always be trying to get back with you.
In the long run do both him and yourself a favour. Cut all contact and let him get over it. forget being friends and say goodbye.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 I hate to say this but I don't think there is such a thing as a clean break. If he is still pursuant of the relationship then there is no clean break for him.
You are the one leaving and therefore you will be the one that comes out of it relatively unscathed because you're the one making the decision, but he isn't making the decision and the one that is left behind when they are not ready for a break-up is usually the one that gets hurt the most.
Going away for a while will definitely give him the space he will need to adjust to life without you, just don't expect him to want a friendship afterward or that he won't be hurt.
For you, it will be ok, you'll be fine. As for him, only time will tell. You may lose a good friend and it will be his choice to have you back in his life in any capacity later, but if you are unhappy in the relationship you have to do what is right for you reguardless.
Time is a great healer.
Good luck xx
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