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anonymous
writes: Hi,Six months ago I got back with my first and only love. We were 19 when we first started dating and went out for a year and a half. It didn’t work out for several reasons but we never stopped thinking about each other and what could have been. We have been really happy the last six months and are completely in love but we both feel that there is still something missing in the relationship. We agreed we have trust, friendship and understanding but we are not very good at socialising together as we end up arguing. And it is usually the same argument. Why can't we go out and have a laugh like we do with our mates? What's missing? We both would eventually like to get married and have a family but this problem keeps coming back. We cried ourselves silly this weekend to find a way to work things out but don’t know how. We are now considering breaking up and giving up our cherished love and friendship. Maybe it's just not meant to be. How do we know we are not making the biggest mistake of our lives? We don’t want to regret anything. When is enough, enough? Aoife. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005): I take it alcohol plays a big part in the arguing. My ex and I had that problem and would sometimes end up literally fighting at the end of a night! Why dont you start going out and not having too much to drink and build it up slowly? xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005): Dear Aoife.There are times in even the best relationships when you just need a break from each other.What you both need to do really it look at how you are with your mates and compare it to when you are out together not just the visible differences but the feelings side of these times too.When you are out with mates it is far easier to really relax than trying to be on your very best behaviour with your partner.You say that there is trust and friendship in the relationship so how come when you are out you are so unable to relax like friends do?If you really are such good friends then i am sure you can both sit down think and resolve this but really i think you just need to be more relaxed with each other when you go out together>I hope this helps.Take care and good luck.
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