A
female
age
36-40,
*harlie174
writes:hi all!i'm sorry this is quite a long question and any answers i get will not influence the chioce i've already made but i would really like everyones opinion on "chemistry"Heres the thing, about a year and a half ago i met this guy (he was a courier delivering to the shop i was working in) lets call him tom.From the moment we saw each other there was so much chemistry between us. it was overwhelming for me and i was sure he felt the same. i thought it was love at first sight and when he walked out the door i thought i felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.... until he came back and gave me him number (in case i needed to use his "courier services") and by that evening we were descussing a time and place to meet. He made me shyer then i've ever been and our first kiss melted me. every thing was magic. But two months on we separated, we both worked long hours and had responcibilities. we threw away contact numbers to avoid temptation and soon lost contact.Not long after i met "Jon". i'd known him for a while through mutral friends and one night we were left alone while our friends argued. we escaped and were secretly seeing each other for a while(we wern't cheating or doing anything wrong, we were both single, we just wanted to keep to ourselves) We had a fantastic time together, probably some of the best times in my life and we're still going strong a year on. we're living together and making serious plans for the future. we're happy and i love him.Just the other day, i was on my way home from work, going back to Jon when i bumped into Tom. I still felt the electricity and my heart beated hard and fast as i tried to keep my cool. we ended up going for coffee as he hinted he still wanted me. all i wanted to do in that time was lean over the table and kiss him again but i couldn't and i hid my feelings well as i felt guilty for even thinking these thoughts. in the end he took my number and said he'd call.Jons reliable, generous and caring and although our relationship may have been a rebound relationship to start with, i now love him now and we have a future but i just can't get Tom out of my head!So i know what i have to do... but i'd really like to get your opinions. IS chemistry more important then a stable relationship and a good future?P.S this has nothing to do with sex! i didn't sleep with Tom and didn't sleep with Jon until a few months into our relationship.
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reader, outofit4life  +, writes (27 March 2007):
I know what your going through Im in the same situation. Any advice that you get will you help me please?
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Chemistry is exciting and can make your heart beat like mad! usually this does fizzle out and fade in time. The you will be in the stable relationship anyway. Also you can end up going from one relationship to another just to keep the "chemisty" going. Having said that, a relationship that has no chemistry can soon turn into a platonic friendship rather than a relationship, it does depend on what you are looking for.
Don't let someone who you think is more exciting lead you away from someone who already loves you, the thing in which we don't know is not neccessarily the best thing for us.
Only you can decide if Jon is worth losing for someone else.
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