A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for about five months, and I feel like I've been really happy, for the most part. About a month or two ago, I met another great guy at work, and we've quickly become close friends and love to hang out with each other. By this point, I'm sure my problem is obvious. They both care for me very much, and I for them. I know. "Poor me, two wonderful guys want to be with me. Boo-hoo hoo". As lame as it sounds, I truly care for both of these guys on an emotional level, and it's really stressing me out trying to figure out which one to choose. My boyfriend of five months is caring, fun, artistic, and playful. I love to talk to him, as he is intelligent, even though he doesn't apply himself, and he's a musician. He also sees a long-term future with me. He's also very frustrating, however, because he can be very lazy and fogetful, and he's not headed the same direction in life I am. My guy friend is extremely sweet, loving, and caring, very attentive, and very driven. He even has above a 4.0 GPA. He is also a musician, and I also love to talk to him. We're headed in the same direction as far as being college-bound goes, and the only downside I've found so far is that he lives about a half hour away from me, which is a quarter tank of gas there and back for my old beater. It's gotten to the point that after hanging out with my friend, I'll be irritable with my boyfriend for not being as attentive/driven as my friend, and after hanging out with my boyfriend, I'm nervous about being around my friend because I know I'll get irritated with my boyfriend. These two guys are my closest, best friends in the world, and choosing between them kind of feels like trying to choose between air and water, not to be dramatic. I would really appreciate some help on this one. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat's holding me to my current boyfriend is that he and I started out as friends too, and we've been together for a while, for me at least. He means a lot to me, which is why it's hard to just switch over to my friend. It's equally hard ot keep away from said friend.
Ugh. I've asked a question with no easy answer. For the sake of argument, your vote stands for the friend? There's nothing else "wrong" with him, it's just that he's far away and I won't get to see him as often as I'd like.
A
male
reader, Leperic  +, writes (9 February 2011):
Is the 1/4 tank of gas the only thing keeping you from the friend? If so, I don't see why you haven't decided yet. But, something has been keeping you from switching. I think you feel stronger for your current boyfriend then you do your new friend, which tells me that something else is "wrong" with the new friend. I can't tell you what to decide, but, just remember, there might be something you aren't telling us about why you don't just switch right over.
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