A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really love my boyfriend but i find it really hard to kiss him , like a prolonged kiss with tongues. Its the thought of all the spit and stuff being passed around, it makes me want to vomit. I have no problems doing anything else with him, not even full intercourse, its just the kissing thing. can someone help please i dont know why im like this or how to stop it.
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Melanne +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Firstly did you know that there is actually a phobia called philemaphobia which is the fear of kissing. Most phobias are also quite rational although they are distorted out of proportion. Your fear is easy to understand because you are afraid of swallowing spit which contains bacteria and spit isn't very pleasant either. I would like to give you an acronym that a very good friend of mine told me it helps to make sense of fear.
False
Expectation - that
Appears
Real
If you think about it that's true you are afraid of swallowing the spit which isn't a pleasant sensation and you believe that your fear is real.
In reality kissing a person should not make you swallow a lot of spit if any at all. However, this fear is real to you and for that reason I think you need to talk this through with your boyfriend and get things out in the open. If you don't tell him it will only make things worse and he will wonder why you don't want to kiss him which could lead to him feeling insecure.
The good news is that phobias can be cured. There are various ways that could help you. Going to see a hypnotherapist, counsellor or other therapist. Learning relaxation techniques. The important thing to remember is that you are not alone many people have phobias and many people have a kissing phobia. Even though it might seem strange to you just remember that there are others who also experience this and you are not alone.
You obviously love your boyfriend and he loves you therefore you need to talk about this. I really hope that you can work through this together. Remember it is important to be honest. I hope I have helped a little.
A
female
reader, crystlay +, writes (28 March 2007):
All i can suggest is think about being with him instead of whats going on in ur mouth. it makes me want to be sick to if u think of it like that. u just need to keep thinking about how lovely ur bf is and how much love him etc.
If that doesnt work, u dont have to kiss with tougues, just kiss normally. Also try talking to him about it.
good luck, and i hope i've helped.
xxx
...............................
|
