A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have an agreement regarding his access to our little boy who is almost 3. He asks for more and more but when I try to reach a compromise with him I get it thrown back at me and when we do reach an agreement he doesn't seem to bother with it. Just wondering what other separated parents out there think of our current arrangement and my own views on it.Currently he collects him from Nursery on Tuesday and has him overnight and all day Wednesday, returning him at about 4:30pm. This works well and I am happy with this arrangement.He also sees our little boy every other weekend (2 out of 4 weekends) and this alternates between Saturday from 10:00am to 5:00pm (this works fine) and Saturday from 10:00am overnight until Sunday 5:00pm. For the past 4 months I have agreed that he can pick him up at 5:00pm on the Saturdays when he has him overnight to allow him to work on a house he is renovating for sale. Recently I have concluded that the house is taking far too long and that he shouldn't work on it anymore during the time he should be spending with our little boy.He is also welcome to pop in and see our little boy whenever he wants. Considering the house he is renovating is literally just over the road and he is there weekends and a couple of times during the week he just doesn't bother with this.He has asked if he has some spare time if he can have our little boy. This is quite laughable at the moment as all his spare time is spent on the house. However, I have said no to this request as any spare time he does have in the future will be at the weekends and will inevitably mean encroaching on my time with my little boy (I work during the week by the way). I have said that family get togethers are a different matter and I don't really mind these.I really do feel that I have done everything I can to ensure my little boy gets to see his Daddy but really feel that where he is concerned it's very much a case of out of sight, out of mind. My line of thinking now is that we stick to the weekday and weekend arrangements and nothing else. I feel he's blown his chance.(Moderator note: sorry, I don't know how to title this, if another mod can retitle it, that would be great, thanks)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Hi hunny
Its so difficult sometimes for both parents to compromise,
I have 3 children and the 2 boys have now grown and dont have very much to do with their father its a shame he isnt a bad man just stuck in his ways and did not make any effort. Some mothers do say nasty things about the fathers not thinking the child will pick up on this but of course they do, I dont say bad things I just thought the best way to deal with it is to be there and when they get older they will make up there own minds, which they have. My husband could see the children anytime he wanted, You can only do your best as a mum and hope dad doesnt miss his chances of them growing up... With my daughter thats a different thing I had 8 court injunctions so my second husband couldnt come near us as he was violent and the childrens board helping me with support so he is not allowed to be anywere near both of us. Hunny I no you are frustrated and you need some sort of routine as you obviously dont want your son upset, But your a good mum and you can only try and talk with your ex to come to a good arrangment for your little boy, you are doing your best and that is all you can do I HOPE THIS HELPED TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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