A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am a 13 year old girl and I'm terrified of losing my virginity. I know that losing your virginity is a big thing, and that it should all be out of love, but after reading something that can happen during it (pain, bleeding, etc) I realized that I was just terrified. It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to walk out the door because I might get raped. Is there anything wrong with me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, privete  +, writes (5 May 2009):
There is nothing to be worried about i am 16 and just had sex for the first time my girlfriend said to me i was painful but it after a couple of min she said there pain turned into plesure me and my gf was terrified but once you are lieing there you realise your love for eachother and nothing else matters you are in the mood to exspress eachothers feelings dont be scard it will work out just fine
A
female
reader, ShanL +, writes (17 December 2008):
 There's nothing wrong with you because I am a virgin also & me and my present boyfriend is experimenting, but nothing to big...(he gives oral & he massages the clit). That's about it but I am terrified of losing my virginity because of the pain, pregnancy etc, but we are the same in that manner, but just pray about it and God will help you just as he did me..............!
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A
male
reader, sk8erboy_Jaxon +, writes (12 December 2008):
 i'm glad ur the only teen who is afraid of looseing ur v-card most are so bad they want to
i like that u are protective of urself
don't let any guy persuade u into looseing it or doing it because when they say that they don't really like u they are useing you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): I think you should be aware of the situation. Giving your virginity to a guy with who you do not want to spend the rest of your life with is a big mistake. By having sex you set yourself to risk of having STD (Aids etc), you might get pregnant, also it changes your emotions (makes you too attached to the guy) etc.
I think the best and the healthiest solution is waiting until you are married, then you know that this person will stay with you and not simply walk away.
Also you need to think about what will happen if you decide to have sex with somebody. Will this person stay with you if you get pregnant? Is this person with you because he can have sex with you? What would you do when the guy who took your virginity is having sex with somebody else after he's finished with you?
Having the strenght to say NO is a big thing (they don't teach it at school). Even if you would say YES to sex it doesn't mean that the relationship will not end (it may prolong the inevitable). If a boy leaves you because you respected yourself enough to say no, then he is not worth it. Some people look for one night stands, sexual "love" etc. They act like that because of lust, not love.
There's a campaign True Love Waits, it would be useful to read about that. They give a good explanation why somebody should wait with sex etc. (http://www.lifeway.com/tlw/students/)
Hopefully you are able to make wise decisions and wait with losing your virginity to the right person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): no. there is nothing wrong with you. you just need to find a boy that's going to be gentle for the first few times like i did when i was 12 (i know very young!!!!)and it doesn't hurt if he's gentle i promise to you.i'm not 14 nd pregnant and tbh the morning sickness is worse that the pain. just don't worry.
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A
female
reader, ChristineD. +, writes (7 December 2008):
 I think it's normal to be scared when you think about it, yet you are pretty young and shouldn't be worrying about it yet, although if you ever find yourself in the situation, if you try but you want to stop because it doesnt feel right, and dont be scared to say you'd rather not do it yet, don't be afraid to say that to a guy, and if he takes it wrong or doesnt respect that, then trust me hun, he's not worth it all. I think many girls overthink it, and take losing virginity way more than what it actualy is, don't get me wrong, it's a huge thing, and you should make sure that you know what your'e doing, and you really feel for him, but when your'e in the moment, if its not a guy thats really pushing it on you, everything is at YOUR own pace. Make sure that he knows you are a virgin and he can't push it on you. Just go slow. Now i'm not teling you to go have sex! But if your'e ever in that situation. Good luck, and dont worry!
Good luck sweety.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's not that i want to, it was just because of a dumb health class thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): i wouldnt say there's something wrong with you, just that you're worrying too much. you shouldnt really be thinking about this if you're only 13, i'm 16 and still a virgin and i'm not even thinking about loosing it any time soon.
when you get a boyfriend who you really love you wont be worried about the pain as much - and it might not even hurt - everyone is different.
and when the time does come you wont even think about it as much, you'll be happy that someone loves you and cares about you, and if that boy really cares about you he'll take thing slowly and reasure that everythings ok.
from what i know from my friends its important that you're properly 'turned on' and most importantly that you're relaxed, it will make things a lot easier
hope our answers help you
good luck xx
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A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Well, I'd have to say, being scared to walk outside in fear of possible rape...is a little...irrational to say the least.Losing your virginity should be with someone you love. And yes, it can in fact hurt and you can bleed. But that's not always the case. You hurt and bleed because you have a hymen, usually your hymen breaks during sex and it can hurt and since its broken it bleeds. But if you and your partner move slow and are gentle then it can be a pretty painless process. (There are other ways to break your hymen; like riding your bike, or playing soccer if you do sports ect, which will obviously cause bleeding.)Did you say you're 13? WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY?!?! you should be doing other stuff. You have so much time on your hands. Don't rush it.
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