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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, I have a problem. I'm in year 11 and for some reason I have feelings for this girl in year 10 who I have never spoken to in my life. Why is this happening? How can I start a conversation with her? It's hard to talk to her because she doesn't even know who I am and she will probberby laugh at me. Please help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 December 2005):
 Think of all the girls you know, then think of all the ones you've talked to for various reasons. How many have actually "laughed at" you? I don't mean girls that have giggled nervously because they didn't know what to say... I mean girls who laughed haughtily then ignored you, as in "Oh, foolish mortal! Why would I deign to speak to you?"-type laughter?
A lot? ...or more like: zero?
Unless you attend school on a totally different planet from the one I live on, most 15-year-old girls would be rapt to have a Year 11 boy say "hi, how are ya?" to them.
And that's all it needs to be at first. You don't have to discuss the origins of the Universe with her. Just smile and say "hi Renee!" as you walk past, like you two are already friends. I promise you - with my female hand over my female heart - that if she doesn't know who you are yet, she will after you say hello a couple of times. In fact, she'll be thrilled to her core that a boy had anything to say to her at all.
After that, it's only a matter talking about and building on what you already have in common: school assignments, people you know, local community events... that sort of thing.
Just make sure that you distinguish in your own mind the different between a nervous, girlish giggle and a dismissive laugh. They're two different things, and *all* teenage girls giggle.
Good luck!
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