A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Three years ago, my then-boyfriend called out his college sweetheart's name during sex. I was quite surprised, and of course it totally ruined the moment. Sadly, it happened another time since then - same person, same name.I realize one time, innocent mistake. But twice? Now, fast forward four years.... we're married. Life is going great until he drops the bomb that his old college sweetheart is in town, and he wants me to meet her. I say "no thanks" and proceed to tell him why I have zero interest in meeting her. I also tell him that it would not even be a good idea to see her either. Although he feels bad that he inadvertently called out the wrong name (**TWICE**), he thinks I am being totally crazy in not wanting to meet her.So, I am throwing the question out there.... am I totally nuts that I do not want to meet the woman that my husband thinks of when he is having sex with me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): You are already married so what do you have to lose? I had an old girlfriend come to town. She wanted to get back together. I took her to see my wife to show her I was happily married and there was no way anything was going to happen ever again. I never heard from the ex girlfriend ever again.
A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Hardly crazy from your point of view. I'm with the previous posters - rather surprised you married him after that! Maybe it wasn't such a big deal to you and he thinks it's something you've gotten over. Why not let him know that it's not about being angry with him or anything, you simply do not want to be in contact with someone he clearly had sexual feelings for even after he knew you. In fact I think you meeting her would not be as bad as him meeting her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): No, you're not totally nuts in not wanting to meet her, but if you're that uncomfortable knowing that he thinks of her while you're having sex, why did you marry him?
As for this situation, he shouldn't even be going to meet up with her. She is a huge point of contention in your relationship, he knows you know he thinks about her sexually, and yet he's willing to go meet up with her just because she's in town.
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