A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My son adopted at 12 lies all the time and has no regret. I have spanked him. no good. He is now 14 I have grounded him .no good , i have taken away prevlidges. no good . I have talked about God with him no good . I am really fed up and don't know what to do Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): Dear poster
Who said kids were easy lol. Now to the hard bit, you have adopted this boy stress to him that you choose him and you will help him with anything wart & all, as maybe he don;t want to disapiont you and thats why he's lying. Tell him is ok to tell the truth you will still want him even if he has done wrong, then you can sort it. This boy is at a difficult age not a child but not grown up and we all know they all want to grow up too fast these days and its a big bad world out there, its hard to keep them on the right track. i am sure you are doing a great job, also because he was 12 went you adopted him did agency say anything about his past behaviour does he have problem? Tell him you will never give up on him but he has to stop lying as when he tells the truth no one will belive him, its ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Hope this helps good luck
A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 I think this site will help you:
http://www.bily.org/
Here's from their site:
"Because I love you" (BILY) is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting parents with troubled children of any age. We promote structure, consequences and consistency in raising our kids and we have helped thousands of families over the past 25 years.
We help parents deal with drugs, runaways, truancy, verbal and physical abuse, curfew, dress codes and the problem friends. We also handle the aggravating things like messy rooms, chores not being done and low school grades.
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506  +, writes (4 November 2007):
sounds like your son is going through some things that only he knows about.
just tell him that u are dre for him, but dont force it as well.
Try to have patience as well
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 November 2007):
 It's easy to get frustrated. Take him in for a psychological evaluation, you'll find your answer there. It almost sounds like it could be 2 different things. (1) Antisocial Personality Disorder (2) One of the Defiance Disorders.
What makes punishment not work with these is, many times they don't understand the wrong doing, so when you punish, they rebel.
The lying is included with those as well. Kids with personality disorders feel often that their worthless failures, they lie to protect themselves with those they respect. They do that because in their minds, if I made a mistake, he'll view me as a failure too.
I hope this helps, take care.
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