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Sixteen years old and I'm still a virgin! Why can't I get this guy interested?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2005) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I am 16 and still a virgin. I really want to have a sexual relationship. I don't currently have a boyfriend. However, I really like this guy who I have known for about 2 months and he has a great personality. The problem is he doesn't really seem to be interested... I have tried everything but I just can't seem to hint that I want something more than friends. Please help!

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A male reader, potant United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2007):

im a 22 year old male and im still a virgin i havent met any body yet that ive had that connection with but im still going to carry on waiting i think people are in such a hurry to loose there virginity they dont take a step back and think if its ment to be then it will happen with the right person and at the right time you wont to enjoy your life while your still young i wish i was 16 again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006):

i'm also sixteen and in a relationship..my advice is, just enjoy first the fun of being sixteen and yuo'll see that everything follows!don't just go with the flow...a right guy will come to you at the right time.maybe that guy you're talking is not really for you.."don't get in a hurried".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005):

Hey !!! I hope this advice is some you can take and feel comfortable with taking. Well ... I am young.. Younger than you and I have that lust already and I know its not normal for my age and more normal at your age but I do understand what your going through. Believe me I do!

Listen, your friends may be having sex and saying its great and sticking things in their mouth that could even give them warts all over their lips. Haha and its not very pretty. Just because your one of the few virgins doesen't mean your stupid or a nerd it means your smart and if your chasing after a boy you just met thats being stupid. Don't take that offensively don't you dare!

Now listen.. A relationship is not based on sex while being with someone you must make sure you love them and to be sure you must have had experience 16 is just the ending point of puberty and another starting point of your life but that doesen't mean you need to start it with something that can change your life! Sex can change your life in a terrible way...

1) Painful the first time

2) A child! Just think about having a baby at 16 and not being able to enjoy your life unless you have an abortion and kill a human being that could have been something great..

3) Getting sexually transmitted diseases.. Think not being able to have a child when your ready!

Now I hate the fact that people called youa child at that age you are now a young adult and are ready to make some huge decisions in life. You are saying no to drugs and even deciding who you want to be a virgin or well not.. Its hard having people all around you pressuring you but what you don't understand is they are not very smart and below the influence they are another one of the white sheep with the herd while you are a black sheep and thats definetly not bad thats being a individual one of your own and not one of the others.

VIRGIN- Someone who has not done sexual intercourse... yadyadyada ( The scientific definition)

VIRGIN- ( At a young age this is good once your an adult and absolutely sure your ready this is fine ) YOUNG AGE DEFINITION - A smart person who chooses to be an individual and not be one of those who gives up there life to something that lasts only a second

Just think.. How ashamed your parents would be to see you had gone below the influence. Think how ashamed all of us those spending our times writing away hoping you won't lose your virginity at 16 hoping you'll go out and be one of those who suceeds in school and life... You'd be wealthy in friends and riches and a smart person, a very smart person that people would look up to.. Just think about being a role model. :)

I had to hurry this advice so if its not the best advice I am sorry .. I truly am but now I must go rate my advice if you want to and please ...Take my advice don't go under.. don't give up your life when its only just begun!

- Alana _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

10 year old female .. California

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A female reader, QueenB75 +, writes (28 October 2005):

At 16 you shouldnt even be thinking about having sex because you're not ready to handle the consequences of that from unplanned pregnancies to sexually transmitted diseases. At 16 you should be thinking about going to school and enjoying your childhood not putting a damper on it by having a child before you're ready for the responsibility and catching something nasty from someone you just slept with. Sex is something special you give to the person you love and if you're a virgin save that part of you for someone who you wish to marry. The sad reality is that the girls your age who are having sex are the ones who are having babies and getting treatment for STDs. Being a virgin doesnt make you weird or odd it in fact makes you very cool. By not having sex you are saving yourself from heartache because when you give yourself emotionally and physically it can hurt you in the long run which leads a lot of young girls to promiscuous behavior. Enjoy your teen years and don't ruin it with a baby or STDs because while those people you know who are having babies at 16 you could focus on being a kid and worrying about other normal teenage things besides sleeping with someone. Save the sex for when you get married and try to meet a boy who's a virgin too so you don't feel pressured to do it and who's willing to wait. Don't rush it there's no hurry to have sex you got time just enjoy being a kid for right now.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (29 September 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntAt your age it's normal and completely understandable that you're curious about and interested in having, and probably craving, a sexual relationship, but I think you're putting the cart before the horse!

Just because you feel like you want a sexual relationship doesn't mean you should track down the first eligible young man you can find, expecting him to perform on command. That diminishes the most intimate act that humans can share to nothing more than a five-minute horizontal dance routine, something that you'll find is highly overrated and ultimately, a rather uncomfortable disappointment.

Don't be fooled by TV and movies that suggest that sex is automatically great and will bind you in a loving relationship with the person of your dreams, just through one simple act. That's just a fantasy. Sex that's based on anything other than a profound and caring pre-established relationship with someone you know well will leave you wondering what all the fuss is about. Sure, sex is - by definition - always good for guys, but we women have to invest a lot more emotion in sex, or it can be, just... well, boring and sort of mechanical.

So you'll have guessed that I don't think that it's a good idea to try to get this guy interested in you, just so you can use him to satisfy your curiosity about sex. There's probably a good chance that you can, if you're prepared to have emotionally-vacant sex and subsequently endure a repuation as 'an easy lay', but I think you're worth more than this.

Why not put the sex plans on the back burner for a while and get to know this guy as a friend? You really don't know that he has "a great personality", because you've only just met him a few months ago. So, leave sex out of the equation for now. Smile at him when you talk, engage him in conversation about things you have in common (classes, social activities etc). Ask him if he'd like to each lunch with you and your friends.

As you get to know him better and form a more complete picture of what kind of person he is, then *maybe* you'll want to be more than just friends with him, and will consider taking it to the next level. Take your time! Really, there's no rush. You're not the first girl in human history to be a virgin at age 16, and there's no prize for losing your virginity. In fact, think of the benefits: no worry about pregnancy or STIs. No concerns that a guy is only interested in just "that", rather than in you. No inconvenient/expensive contraceptive devices.

Slow down a bit on this one. When you're in a long-term relationship with someone you think is really, really special... that's when you consider having sex.

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A female reader, becky0412 +, writes (28 September 2005):

what i would suggest is that you be honest with this guy and tell him how you feel.At least this way you will no weather your just going to be friends or weather you can be a couple, this guy probably dont know you like him thats y he thinks of u as a friend.But by being honest with him you will then know that if he just wants to stay your friend that u can go and find someone who will want 2 be with you.let me no wot happens

good luck!!!!!!

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