A
female
age
30-35,
*rsbabii
writes:Ok I was talking to this guy... we've been talking for a while.. And one day we had sex... Big mistake.. He used a condom the first time.. Then we went at it again.. But he didn't clean himself after he took off the condom... Although we waited like 20 minutes until we did it again.. He didn't clean himself... And we didn't use a condom the 2nd time..and that's not the worse part..I talked to him about the situation.. I'm having all these symptoms.. And my periods late... And he doesn't want to be with me.. And all he complaind about was his future and how he's going to have to let certain things go..and how his mother is going to kill him.. He's 20 years old..as am I.. I don't know what to do... I don't have family.. Or any one to be here for me to help me out.. And I'm worried my baby is going to have to grow up without a daddy.. Just like I did..what should I do..is any one in this same situation?? Or close? How did u manage?
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female
reader, the1st1 +, writes (29 December 2008):
I am only 17 and the day i found out i was pregnant, my daughters 24 year old father left. i went to my mom, and she helped me. my daughter is now 3 1/2 months old. i know you said you have no family, but the state can help you. you can get wic, food stamps, and even sooner care. a lot of people might talk about you because of it, just because of all the people out there taking advantage of the help just because they dont want to work. but if you need the help, take it, dont worry about what they say, you do what you need to, to take care of yourself and your child. their are grants they can give you, some you dont even have to pay back, and if you dont want to rely on the state for long, take the grant, go and get the highest degree you can, and make the best of your childs life. they will pay for daycare, and you can even file for child support as i did. if he doesnt want to be in your childs life, dont make him, just do the best you can to take care of the two of you, and when your child gets old enough to ask about her father, tell her the truth. if she/he ever wants to meet him, let her/him and let her see how much of a jerk he is. the more you put into your childs life, the more you will see that you didnt need him in the first place. he might however sign over his rights, which he wouldnt have to pay child support, but if he doesnt that you can still get help. in the long run it will hurt your child, if you talk him into staying, and then he just leaves out of the blue one day when your child is old enough to realize what is going on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Best advice: get an abortion no matter what it takes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): i am not personally in this situation but have a few friends that have been and firslty let me say that although it may not seem like everything will be okay it will be, it may be nice to have family but sometimes i have found that friends are just as good if not better. A dad is important but a usless one is not a positive male figure in a childs life is just as good as a father especially if they are more responsible and loving than the father chooses or wants to be. Maybe you should go and get some advice from a counsellor or someone who is in the same situation as you but it usually ends up being okay with faith, will and perserverance and dont be afraid to ask for help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Well honestly, this situation is bad. I happen to be an attorny though, and you are aloud to take him to court for child support. Also you may consider an abortion, allthough most people do not want to.Find a proper job, and get working because you need money to support your child. I'm sure there must be a friend you can talk to.Otherwise you can fill me in on what is going on and I will help you to the best of my ability.
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