A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and i are going on our 4th year together and we have a beautiful baby girl together, first child for both of us... i know this is all new for both of us but does it have to make a person change this much? he used to show me that he cared all the time and now he doesn't. he doesn't talk to me anymore and he spends way more hours at work or whatever he decides to go do and it seems like he's just avoiding us. when he does come home, he would rather just go to bed or play his game instead of helping me with our baby or spending time with her or me. and now he's gotten to where if its something that he wants or wants to do then he's going to do it with or without me but if its something that i want or want to do, oh well, he's going to do whatever he wants instead. and when i would get worried about something he used to wake up and talk with me about it and stay awake through the entire conversation whereas now its like one of the seven deadly sins to even think about waking him up!when i try to talk to him about my feelings of how he's been changing or anything else, he'll often roll his eyes or tell me that i'm wrong. i'm not wrong if its how i feel!and when his family comes around, we(our daughter and i) turn into ghosts... nonexistent to him. i've threatened to leave him and it smoothes things out for a couple of days or a week and then goes back into the same thing...i just don't know what to do... what can i do to get him to show that he cares? does he even care anymore?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): It sounds like he isn't very happy now that he has to be a dad. Some men can't handle it, and have no desire to try. Maybe he is too young to be a dad already, maybe he's working too much, you have to get mad & demand answers out of him, don't just let him roll his eyes & tell you you're being stupid. Demand he tell you what his problem is. Maybe what you need to do is move out for a couple weeks and let him clear his mind to see if he wants to stick it out with you. If you can't work this out, don't be miserable and stay with him for your child's sake. No child would want to grow up in an unhappy home. And you're still so young you could find someone else.
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
Maybe he is wearing himself out with all the hours he is doing at work?
I don't know as I don't live with you, you know your husband better than anyone else, if you have tried talking to him babes, and it hasn't worked then maybe a little break will make him realise what he could loose....
You have given him something precious in life and thats you baby daughter he should respect you not ignore you darling, so make him listen make him realise you love him and don't want to live like this anymore......
Good luck darling,
Love Donna xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): he clearly isn't worried about how you feel. is he the kind of dad you want for your child? is he the kind of man you want for yourself. you deserve better
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