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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of days ago. Prior to us getting together, we had been friends for a couple of years. He had always liked me, but didn't think I was interested. Anyway, we were fine until something happened. A guy added me on msn and started telling me my bf had been saying things about me behind my back to his ex. This guy quoted snippets of the conversation with his ex and she was saying stuff like "he says he still loves me... his current gf is only ok for now, its not the same" I was really upset and didn't know what to believe. When my bf got on, I asked him about it and he got really mad, saying I didn't trust him at all and trusted this guy over him, etc. I was very angry at him because I thought he was lying. Later I cooled down and told him I wanted to work things out. He said there's no chance of that and we're over, put it down to us being different people and that since I'm a senior he shouldn't be distracting me cause I want to go to college. He also said there's too many problems with us with trust and insecurity issues, but this is the first problem we've had in our relationship. He did later deny what the guy said, but I'm still unsure whether he was telling the truth or lying. I might add this was all over IMs, not in person.I told him I shouldn't have listened to the guy and I was sorry but he said we were over. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, I just didn't know what to believe. But he didn't want to work things out. He did say that since we've been friends for years we should stay friends, but I said I can't have that because he was not willing to put the effort in to make things work with us so he didn't deserve friendship. Plus I know I'd never be able to get over him if we were friends. I said see you sometime and that was the end. Now I'm unsure of what to do. I feel I may have been in the wrong and that it was my fault he broke up with me. If I hadn't listened to this guy we'd still be together. But I also feel he may have just been looking for an excuse to break up. Should I try and get him back, or just let it drop? Was I in the wrong for confronting him? Thanks for the help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for the wonderful advice so far.
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Normally, I would say how can you trust some stranger over IM no less over your boyfriend. But the fact he broke up with you there and then makes it very suspicious indeed. I guess it depends which way you look at it to say if you were in the wrong or not, but it sounds like a betrayal of trust from both sides somewhere along the line to me. I would just leave the relationship, as he either never thought you guys were that serious, or he is really into emotional blackmail. I would say it's over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): Well firstly how did this other guy get your msn address? It sounds as though he was troublemaking for you. You confronted your boyfriend about these rumours and you were right to do so. Now if he was a caring, considerate boyfriend then he would be absolutely gutted that someone would be wanting to stir up trouble for you both. And then he would possibly confront the other guy as to why he was causing trouble. So the fact that he reacted the way he did, getting angry and accusing you of having trust issues, points to me that there maybe some truth in the matter.As for friendship forget it.Whatever you do don't try to get him back, if he values you then leave it to him to do all the chasing.
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