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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for two years. He is two years older than me. He has a bit of a temper which has affected relationships with his children. Also at night on several occasions he has called me names of ex-girlfriends, specifically his children's mom. I have huge concerns about this and feel very uncomfortable. Am I wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2005): I think you should be more concerned about his temper and his shaky relationship with his children than "whose" name he calls out when you and he are making love. It sounds like he needs to do a lot of work on himself. He needs to do it for himself and especially, for his children. The biggest concern I have is for the emotional well being of his kids...they need a loving, calm, understanding father and he needs to be best role model to them that he could be. The kids (whether young or old) have had their intact family, ripped apart by divorce. This is a time when they deserve the kindness and gentle guidance from their father. If you aren't afraid of his temper yet, you very well could become this way and then I would wonder why you remain with him. He needs counseling, in part to find out what is triggering his anger, when it comes to his children. Bad tempers cause so much real pain and suffering to so many good people. Please have him look into some counseling before he damages his relationship with his kids for good. Good luck-be strong and I wish you well.
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