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female
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anonymous
writes: Im a 17 year old girl and one of my best guy friends for about 2 years told me he has feeling for me about 2 months ago. I tryed to go on with our friendship but when he stopped calling and started acting different i finally told him that i liked him too, hoping we would be close again. Now i feel akward talking to him or even calling him because i dont want all of our friends to know about this. And if were alone and he trys to get close to me I will freak out and move away. Should i give a relationship a chance or take back the way i might feel to try to save our friendship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (24 July 2006):
 I think you need to focus on the friendship. It's hard when you're friends with someone of the opposite sex sometimes, because often, people think their feelings are sexual ones when, in fact, it's just a really close friendship. Boys do this more often, as they often have some kind of attraction to their female friends.
It must be very weird now and this tells me that you should look at sorting out the friendship and forget about being together as a couple. You don't want this, although you care about him a lot, you want him as a friend really, don't you? I believe that once you have cast someone in a role in your life, i.e. boyfriend/friend/enemy whatever, it's hard to think of them in any other way. Making a friend a boyfriend or vice versa can be very hard because all the feelings you've ever had for them have to change.
Friendships are very important, as relationships will come and go. If it's not worth losing him as a friend if this all goes wrong then you have to set him straight. Tell him you're both just friends and that's all you'll ever be. Maybe spend some time apart as well, so he can come to terms with this and do what's best.
Hope this has helped. Good luck.
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