A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I tell my boyfriend about my history of physical and sexual abuse? I really love him and I know he loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me. Should I tell him or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 There are some things that only belongs to you only . The less people knows about it ,the better it is.
Today he maybe your b/f but we will never know if he will be forever be your b/f or not. Today a friend , tomorrow an enemy.
Any information you give out can be used against you in the future.Even your b/f can used those info's against you when love flies out the windows.
In my opinions, I will not volunteer any detrimental info's unless it is a life and death situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): It depends. Would telling him freak him out??
Could he deal with it?
Would he try and make things better by going after people or anything like that?
If you think he'll be fine then tell him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): You havent said how long you have been with your boyfriend. This is truly the deciding factor. There are things you can share with anyone, things you can share with some people, and then there is this. Please understand that you carry NO shame for this. But I know you do, all abused kids do to a point. I can only give you advise based on my experience. I only told my best friend at the time it was happening. This is 2 females that know. Of the men in my life, 1 boyfriend I had while it was happening knew, but we were both teens. The man I was marry ( and divorce ) and my now fiance. My ex I told him a couple months in, because we were talking about moving in together and he needed to know my past. My fiance now, whom Ive been with for 3 years, I only told him within the last 6 months. You need to understand that this is scary to hear for the other person, the person you are about to share this with. But you need to know that you have to feel safe, and confortable and free to talk about it whenever you want to. Be careful whom you share this with, make sure that this person, no matter what, will never ever judge you for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): I told my boyfriend about my abusive past. I told him because I self-harmed for years after and I have some ugly scars on my arms and legs which are quite noticeable. He didn't ask me about it, I told him.
I would say that it is up to you whether you tell him or not. Can you trust him with this information? What will happen if you break-up? Will he tell others? Does he need to know?
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