A
female
age
36-40,
*urtingmom_wife
writes:Ok. I feel At fault for this but my father in law says other wise. My marriage is falling apart. My husband doesnt do much for us with out me nagging or fighting with him. sometime he comes out and does it him self. As well he is the sweetie guy when he wants to be. The other times he is very negitive, he harrasive and even abusive to me. He can take blame for anything its always my fault on alot i know its not me. but i know if i wasnt so strong minded and was brought up not to let any one talk down to you. i would get the bad end of the stick other words. he waste my gas so i cant goto school because i nag at him. All my friends and family hate him and this makes it to where i dont talk to them much. My day is made of taking care of the kids, homework, cleaning, school, and cooking. When he gets to do what ever he what but when he watches the kids while i goto school and the doctors. he loves me i do know and he always asking me to set up counseloring should i stay and try to fix it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hurtingmom_wife +, writes (29 September 2010):
hurtingmom_wife is verified as being by the original poster of the question my marriage will be fine i believe he realized he was messing up while he was in jail and i realized he is the only one here for me. Thank you all
A
female
reader, hurtingmom_wife +, writes (26 September 2010):
hurtingmom_wife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I feel that we sure not be togther untill he get help and figure things out. but this just make him even madder. because when he leaves to work with his dad ( for days) when he gets back things are good for a couple days. but I'll figur out what i can do from here with the companys we have down here thank you all for your help!
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A
female
reader, shelly5 +, writes (26 September 2010):
 The only way for you to feel any peace is thru therapy, it will take many months of it to work & only if he is willing to be open with all the rage he feels. Medication is also an option to help with his mind overcoming the urge to lash out & hurt you. You love him, is your love for him worth the happiness that you are not receiving from him? will you find happiness thru standing by him thru all the hurt and ugly pain. I mean he will most likely hurt you again only you know deep inside that answer. You may find that your on happiness with the whole is having some space let him work his pain out and for you to as well. Stop suffocating yourself by allowing him to wear and beat on you. Inner strength will come, look for a therapist.
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A
female
reader, hurtingmom_wife +, writes (26 September 2010):
hurtingmom_wife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys Im going to stay and fight and pick my battles and hope for the best. For the reason of that he is locked up right not for a short time and all i can think of is all the good times. Thank you Again!
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A
female
reader, hurtingmom_wife +, writes (25 September 2010):
hurtingmom_wife is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you I do Understand but I thought i put this in we have been thru counseling twice already once it helped for a while then evrything started again. The last time he scared the counselor so bad he kicked us out and call cps on us. As well im more scared of what will he do to me next. I didnt really want to put this out there but can a men really stop beatting ( even if its not that bad of a beatting) his wife with the help of counselling or will it just keep happening. or is it because i do talk back and not let him talk trash. Maybe if i kept my mouth shut i wouldnt get hit? I do love him i know i shouldnt let this go on but for so some unknown reason i cant leave it hurst worst them him hitting me. And it only happens rarely. I want this to work but i cant take him hitting me. he told me that when he does it he can control him self when choke me. but when he hits me in the arm he means it. as while when he some time just takes off in a middle of a fight he trying not to hurt me. But after a whilr he stop that to. i want to leave to save my but my heart says he doesnt mean it and will stop when we get help. I dont really know anymore. if you understand this please help me, Im desprate. I didnt say anything about him cheating but how did you guys pick that up? it not a sure thing it just a question cause he takes for to help another women and leaves us hanging all the time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): I say too many people make divorce so easy when honestly it isn't our society has turned it into a drive thru. Marriages take work from both sides, better or for worst, sickness and in health guess what your husband falls under sickness & worst right now & ideally the marriage should be 50-50 but life isn't like that so it's up for the healthy spouse to help their partner thru even if that means giving 80% to their 20%. Please go to marriage counseling since you sound willing to do the hard work it will not be easy but yes there is hope. He hasn't moved out % he is trying to put the responsibility of leaving on you! You don't want a divorce from what I could tell so don't give him 1 make his butt make that choice since he made the choice to cheat. He doesn't really honestly love her he just wants to say that to you so he can displace his blame. Don't allow it time will heal your wounds, don't even mention the other woman unless it's in front of the therapist trust me be strong for your babies & show him you love him just not his actions. He does love you go on dates spice up the sex life & in time he will come to understand his foolishness & plus the other woman will be putting pressure on him to leave as long as you are not the nagging party he will get sick of her crap & drop her ass. Good luck & keep us posted. You are a good person nothing wrong with loving your husband & helping him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): he's asking you to set up marital counseling? well, what are you waitin for? set up the appointment now! not saying that what he is doing is acceptable, but if you're married, you should definitely go to counseling before considering divorce.... unless the issue is a no brainer, like him cheating on you... otherwise, marriage is something you leave only as a last resort if everything else you did in your power to try to save it didn't work... for better or for worse... good luck to you...
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