A
male
age
30-35,
*letcher
writes:Hey y'all I'm in need of some advice. Me and my have been broken up for about 4 weeks now. I'm still frustrated about it but it is really getting better. Im going to wait a little longer until I contact her, I was wondering some methods to do this. Im an artist and back a year ago I started a painting of us that I never finished. She always asked me to and I was lazy and never did. Looking back i never followed up on a lot of things I said I would. I really want to finish it for her and mail it to her with a nice letter saying I still care for her. Nothing to much, just light and playful. Would this be wrong of me? I think it sounds nice. I know I won't get her back but it would be a nice start to a little contact and maybe get her thinking abou me some more. Thanks everyone I love you all for the help :)
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 April 2011):
So you broke up on fairly decent terms, but there's a chance she may have already moved on and is with someone else. You need to find that out first..possibly through some of her friends, Facebook, or people she talks to.
Because if you send it and she has a boyfriend, then your artistic efforts were wasted. Not to mention, you look like the desperate ex.
Now if she's not dating anyone, then you may still have a chance. However, it sounded like the relationship was going stalemate for her so trying to refresh this relationship is going to be extremely hard. 4 weeks isn't enough time for her to miss you.
A
male
reader, fletcher +, writes (13 April 2011):
fletcher is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I broke up with her cause she said she thought she had feelings for another guy. We haven't talked since. But I need a way to get back in touch. I told her to contact me when she decides what she wants but I was pretty freaking p*d off. I've cooled down now and would like to contact her and show her I still am thinking about her and that I'm willing to take another shot.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): Nope! Hold on to it a few months, when it's clear that it's over, dump it and move on with life!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 April 2011):
Why did you two break it off? Who dumped who? And how was your relationship otherwise?
It's a bold move to send your ex a painting of the two of you..I mean she wanted you to finish it when you were still together, you aren't anymore. If you guys broke up on good terms and you know she's not with anyone else, then I would send it to her. However, if you had a nasty break up then it's a bad idea to send her the painting. You may receive it back in shreds.
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A
female
reader, archiefreddy  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 okay. first of all you should NOT send him this painting!
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A
female
reader, DrDivine +, writes (12 April 2011):
I would say no don’t do it! I suppose though it depends on the situation – who finished the relationship, why did it end and how has communication been between you since. It is a nice idea but perhaps a little too soon for that. She might find it a little creepy or annoying. When I broke up with a boyfriend he used to send me photos of us from our holidays, forward on emails and texts that I had sent to him as if to remind me of my feelings and used to send me audio files of songs he’d written about me which he had started while we were dating but had never finished. I found this a bit irritating because all I wanted was to have my space from him and to not feel like he was trying to convince me to get back together again. Whatever the situation, if your ex is acting like she needs space then you need to respect that and not do anything that could be considered as over the top. Of course you could still finish the painting – you might find it therapeutic to do this for yourself. Depending on the cause of the break up, when a little time has passed there maybe no harm in sending her a letter to say you’re still thinking of her and you could perhaps mention the painting. Wait for her to say if she wants to see it. Good Luck :)
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