A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so iv been texting this guy for a couple of weeks now, he works with a couple of my friends and iv seen him before, a couple of times, but i have never actually spoke to him face to face. Im worried that if i text too much or come across as overly keen i might scare him off. Hows the best way to act? He seems interested but i cant be sure. Do guys like a girl that plays hard to get or is it best to just be yourself? Im a bit confused as im not really into game playing, i dont think its right, but then again i dont want to look desperate. Any advice would be great especially from any guys out there.
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 There's no reason it can't be a careful balance of both. You can "play" without "playing games," and be yourself the whole time. But there's a lot of fun in the chase, so long as its done with both people playing in good faith.
Playing hard to get is fine, but you have to do it right. It works best when your words and actions are teasing, and you're making him work for your affections, but when your body language and tone make it clear you like him and just want to play a little before you give in.
That balance of body language, tone, words, and actions works just fine in real life, because you really *are* being yourself, just a more playful version of yourself. When it backfires is when girls try to play hard to get over the phone, text, or IM. In those cases, it's indistinguishable from "not interested."
So, be an enthusiastic version of yourself over the phone or text, but try to set up a meeting as soon as you can. Then, in person, give it a few minutes to get comfortable with him, then be a playful, teasing version of yourself.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 The longer you text the more difficult a face on will be.
Stop the text get in his face, read it, make a decision and call it from there. Texts are BS when it comes to dating.
I put a date and time out there and that's it. I know within 24 hours if it's on or off, who needs to spend days or weeks wondering? Flirting with texts is just flirting with precious time.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Just be yourself. If you pretend to be something you're not, you'll always wonder if he likes you for the real you should things work out.
Texting for a couple of weeks is a good sign, I would suggest subtle hints toward a meet up and see if he suggests a date. There is such a thing as waiting too long.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Are you sure he's single? Single guys who like you alot will ask you out if you are texting for awhile. Has he asked to see you? I would stop texting so much if he hasnt..wait a few hours to respond when he texts and don't text first. If he backs off too then he's not too keen.
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