A
male
age
41-50,
*wall2020
writes:Me and my girlfriend had been dating for about a year and things were great except for a drug problem that popped up about half way through the relationship. I tried really hard to get her to stop but to no success. We broke up because she started hangin with really low people. The thing is we really love eachother. Things got bad so I moved to la and now I have a job at a new club in Santa monica. She is almost done with rehab and we have been talking on the phone. We have been confessing our love to eachother. I am stick because I really want to be with her but they tell her in rehab that she shouldn't see anyone for about a year. She wants me to come back and support her. Her mom says she shouldent be selfish and she should let me do what makes me happy. I want to be with her too because I care about her so much. Should I move back and be with the woman I love despite her drug addiction she is seeking treatment for, or should I stay in la and try to build a career here. I really miss her even though there are a ton of women in la. Do I stay or do I go back to a woman who loves me even if she is an addict?
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female
reader, Petina  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 I should take the advice of the experts. Don't move in with her and see how she goes on. You may easily fall into the trap of funding her habit if you live with her and she's not ready to make the break. There's nothing to stop you keeping in touch and keeping an eye on things from a distance then at least you will be sure one day if this is for you. You don't want to be making the mistake of living with her because she is vunerable and needy, that would be the wrong reasons. By keeping your eye on her from a distance you will aslo see how strong she can be by being independant. Just my point of view I hope this helps.
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