A
male
age
41-50,
*upidluv
writes:I know a girl who had a BIG crush on me during pre-undergrad days, when most boys in class were after her :-). I used to like her too, but we never expressed our liking to each other, and were just 'friends'. Later I moved to a diff college to study computers, and she to study medicine, so contact was almost totally cut. I went to USA for couple of years on work assignment, and when I returned, incidentally met her recently and we have been in contact on/off at times. And, it was pretty clear that she still likes me, and to me, she's still adorable.Right now, she and her family are looking for prospective grooms for her marriage (yes, arranged marriages still exist in India :D), and she has at times checked with me indirectly to see I am interested to marry her.I think I like/love her, but I am not ready for marriage yet. Because I feel I need to concentrate on career for 1-2 years more, enjoy bachelorhood, and then think about marriage.If I say no to her now, she can not and will not wait for me, since we both are 26yrs and her family thinks it's already late for her.Pals, please suggest what do I do? I feel I'm in a fix.Thanks a lot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Hey Britt I had an arranged marriage myself.Its going great guns!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): First I want to comment on "Nicekid's" answer it was perfect! Thank you for your wisdom!
And now to answer in my own words. Wow! I didn't know they still did that in India. And apparently she is Okay with this??? Try to talk to her honestly and candidly. Maybe she will forego the traditional arranged marriage thing. You say she won't wait for you, well how do you know that? Take the risk and talk to her! If she loves you (or even likes you a lot) she may be willing to wait and if you take Nicekids' advice and list your reasons for not being ready, you may realize that you are ready!
I find this whole scenario very romantic! I'm a sucker for romance! I wish you both so much happiness!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): When in doubt,don't.
You should get married when you feel like it.Or else you might end up resenting it.Life becomes hell then.
Speak to her parents.Get engaged.Enjoy your bachelorhood along with honey for 2 years.Then get married.How does that sound?
Its all a matter of convincing her parents.All the best!
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