A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently signed up on this online dating site. I’m only looking for guys my age and who live close to me, so I basically don’t even consider the rest (shallow I know). One guy though emailed me and although he is 15 years older than me and lives a 4-hour flight away from me I responded. We’ve exchanged a few emails so far and I’m finding that we have a lot in common and lots to talk about. He seems quite interested in me but it seems to me that I don’t know what I want.I know this will sound so shallow but my problem with him is that he’s not established career-wise. He didn’t even finish high school and I’m currently working on a masters degree and building my career. His age is not that big of a deal at all.A friend told me to cut him off right now if I don’t see myself in a relationship with him. For some reason I just can’t.He’s already asked why I responded to him seeing that he doesn’t fit my ‘criteria’ and I honestly don’t know why myself. This shows me that he’s thinking about this and is perhaps cautious about why someone like me responded to him.I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lead the guy on if I don’t know what I want but at the same time there’s something about him and I can’t just cut him off now.Should I keep emailing him and see what happens? Is the career thing really the reason or do you think it's something else? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. I think anonymous was right...I just wanted attention. I've since ended this thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): You need to make up your mind what you really want. You seemed clear to start with. We all need attention and maybe it is just that, you are getting attention from this man. But being on the receiving end of someone who is undecided leaves you mid air and its not a very nice feeling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): Stop and take the time to figure out what is compelling you to keep in contact with him in the first place. There has to be a reason, especially if all signs point to you just cutting off the contact and you cant.
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