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Should I hold out for a great relationship, or just experiment?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 May 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm only 16 and I know that's still kinda young but I've only dated 2 guys over the last year. The second lasted quite a while but eventually things just got really messed up between us. It ended back in feb. So I've been single for about 4 months now and I do not like it.

I wish for one of those relationships where there's passion, security, and just great balance on an emotional, mental, and physical level. Somebody who I can trust with everything and also 'give myself to' too. I would also like for it to last. LOL. I hate being by myself.

The thing is I've seen how a majority of guys are in my school and such and it does not seem likely that I'm ever going to find this. So I guess my question is should I even bother to keep looking for one of these relationships, if they do exist, or just go and experiment a bit (without being slutty of course)? The problem with the second option is that it's really hard for me not to become emotionally attached so I'll probably end up feeling hurt no matter what. (which of course kind of scares me)

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A female reader, sugar_sugar United States +, writes (22 May 2009):

sugar_sugar agony auntI have to say I really loved your question. You seemed pretty damn clued in comparison to many other posters of your age group.

In my opinion I think you should hold out for that someone special. By experimenting with boys that you aren't especially into you are very likely to miss out on the kind of relationship you seek.

I've spent too much time in relationships that I knew weren't right for me, and I wish I had been as discerning back then as you appear to be now. Life is short and you shouldn't settle for anything less than amazing in any aspect of your life.

Spending a little time by yourself might be an annoying trade off but it's easier than the emotional rollercoaster of being with someone who's wrong for you.

Good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009):

Those relationships exist, and they're worth waiting for!

I guarantee you that there's a guy in your school who wants the same thing you do. You won't find him by putting yourself out there for 'experiment' or experience. You will find him by being yourself. He's in one of your classes or a club or extracurricular activity you're involved in. He may be shy, he might not make an obvious move. But he's there, and he's worth finding.

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