A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 2 years recently asked me to go on holiday with him.Our situation at the moment is not all that great, and we argue almost daily. I've never been abroad before and I have a phobia of flying, so if I'm actually going to do this I need to feel comfortable/secure.I told him I'd need to think about it because I do not want to be in a foreign country/on a plane and having these arguments and feeling uncomfortable or I'd just want to come home.Also his family would be there as they own the house out there so I would feel quite embarrassed if we had a big argument in front of everyone.I also said, if we figure all this stuff out/stop the arguments I will go.He knows we are not 'perfect' yet when I said this he had a go at me and told me I didn't trust him/was being disrespectful and ungrateful... Shall I just go to make him happy? I really don't know what to do :( I feel like I'm being pressured
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female
reader, louise100 +, writes (6 May 2009):
I'd sort your problems out first before you go on holiday - imagine it - you have the stress of the flight - being abroad and cant get home - with his family - AND you have an argemnet. Not much of a holiday is it?
I'd try to resolve your arguments first whatever they are about. Sounds like you argue an aweful lot - every day is far too much.
Stick to your guns and explain about your concerns and listen to his, you are not trying to upset him on purpose or be difficult - you are scared of flying and being stuck somewhere when you've had an argeument.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): I tried to explain the way I feel about planes etcetc to him and he said I was stupid and there was no point in us being together if I can't do this for him.. I'm so confused he's saying I'm being annoying because I'm trying to explain how I feel and then hung up on me.
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A
female
reader, catgirl222222 +, writes (5 May 2009):
 As you feel like you are being pressured, I would strongly recommend you do not go on this holiday. It is a big thing of your boyfriend to ask this of you, and while it is a touching gesture, you must be entirely comfortable. And I'm afraid you aren't.Attempt to talk to him, hear him out and tell him to hear you out. Make sure he knows your feelings, but explain gently and try not to hurt his. If he cared about you deeply, he would not pressurize you. Perhaps he is scared for the sake of your relationship and feels a holiday would reassure him that you two are fine, or even fix your problems altogether. But this is unfair on you. If you tell him you are not going and he reacts terribly, then maybe he isn't worth it. But make sure you communicate with him. Good luck.
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