A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I've had a relationship with Dick (not his real name) for 3 years when we broke up about a year ago. The reason of the breakup was becouse he didn't want to have a serious/mature relationship with me. He had bad experiences on his past relationships wich makes him hates the word 'commitment' in a relationship. We saw eachother everyday sinds we work at the same office. During the break up he kept contacts with me, asking me to go eat together after work etc. He did and said nice things. He can be very adorable or very pursuating sometime. Sinds this january we've been dating again. I thought that now he knows that I want only a serious relationship with him so when he wants me back than it must be for real. I know it's stupid. Lately I asked him about how he sees 'us' and he said that he just see us having fun together. He said he stil doesn't want to go steady because he's afraid of getting hurt again. But he said that he feels so good when we're together and he knows that there's no better woman for him than me. But also said that he wants to get some confirmation that I'm the one for him by dating 10 women. If he doesn't find any of those 10 women better than me than he might want to go steady and marry me. I know this is a stupid question but.. should I give him a chance to get his confirmation? Or he's just a jerk and that I should leave him? (Maybe I just need a confirmation too. I love him and he's my first boyfriend)Thank you.-Momo-
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 This man sure has a tall itinerary.If it's his plan it's his plan, but it's not your plan. I don't see how you can be in the picture while he dates 10 other women, unless you sit back and just wait it out. But why do that? Not only that but how can a man risk dating 10 other women if he's afraid to get his heart broken? That seems contradictory. Unless it's just for sex. So how do you feel about waiting for a guy to settle with while he sows his oats? He's not being a jerk, he has oats to sow, he has oats to sow, nothing you can do about that.I would simply wish him well and be off doing my life, 10 women could take 2 weeks or 20 years. Or it's a weird kind of test, wish wouldn't sit well, because if he's seeing how you react than he will get what he doesn't want and that is you leaving him. Ask him if he's serious if he is you have to back off completely or wait. Waiting for possibilities is a huge risk, why not continue your life and if he comes back you can take it from there. Who knows, like one of my friends who ended a similar RS it was her husband that opened the door to the guy who came back 2 years later!Do you really want to be the 11th pair of jeans in his closet?
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