A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my ex girlfriend and I have been separated for over three months now and she's with somebody new, whom she met fairly quickly after we broke up. I miss her desperately and in the back of my mind I always held out hope that her and I would get back together. However she told me that's she's happy with her life now. So should I just not try and get her back? or would it be best to just leave her alone and let her go?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's hard to let go, but I guess its for the best. However I just can't understand how she can move on so quickly, I mean she started dating him only a week after we broke up. I just can't believe anyone can actually move on that quickly.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Let her go I'm afraid - she has told you she is happy now and she has clearly moved on, so whatever you tried it would not work. She doesnt want to be with you anymore - you cannot force her to want you again.
Part of the break-up process is greiving for your loss, and accepting that it is actually over. This can take some time so dont feel bad for feeling this way, but what you need to keep in mind is that this is just a phase of the break-up - it does not mean that you should act on your feelings.
So right now, of course you miss her and will be holding out hope that you could get back together. But if you just give it a bit more time, soon you will start to come to terms with the fact that she is gone for good, and that hope will fade away.
Getting over someone takes time, so just be patient, allow yourself to express your emotions whatever they are and soon you will start to feel better. Best thing for you to do is to try and remove all traces of her from your life the best you can, like get rid of pictures, her facebook, mobile phone no etc so even if in your head you hope she will come back, at least you will have a reminder in reality that she is gone for good. If you cling on to little reminders of her and try and keep her in your life then you will never be able to move on - so be brave and cut her out for good.
She is happy now - so time has come for you to move on and allow yourself to be happy again too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): There would be no point as she is now with someone else and has told you she is happy.
It is always painful breaking up; give yourself time to get over it and find some things to do to occupy your time without those things needing to be anything to do with finding anyone.
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