A
female
age
41-50,
*ovinglifeandhim
writes:My ex and I split over 10 years ago while I was pregnant. I wanted children but he was already a father and wasn't reliable so decided he would leave for mine and the babys sake. He went on with his life getting married etc and I with mine, finding someone else and having more children. I have since split from my partner (it had been coming for along time) and he I believe from his wife (he no longer lives with her). My child knows who the real father is as I have never lied. We haven't spoken in years but have seen each other about as we live in the same area. I recently met him again while out and still have all the feelings I had before and know his heart skipped a beat when we re-met as he was all flustered which he never is. My question is whether I should try for a relationship with him again or am I just going back to old habits. I know I love him but some people aren't meant to be together are they? His other children are all in their 20s now mine is 12 so I think although difficult we could work round any problems if things were to go that way. What should I do?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 There is this romanticized notion of reuniting a long lost family with a real father. He had never been a full time father to any of his children. He has had three failed relationships (maybe more) it would be hard to imagine he would want to spend his older years dealing with more problems, such as a 12 year old who would hate him. 10 years ago he was leaving only for his own sake. I find it appalling that by saying he's leaving he was doing it for your own good. You are thinking too far ahead when there was no mention of what you talked about after your brief meeting. Did he even ask about your son, and about meeting him after these 12 years?
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