A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm in a rut with my boyfriend. I'm unhappy most of the time due to his past, but just can't break free from the relationship because it's all I've known for a year. I guess I keep hoping it will get easier to deal with but now I know that will never happen. You see, he has slept with so many women in the past, it's just too much for me to handle.I told myself I must get over it or move on 8 months ago and I still have done neither. He's a wonderful person but his past is just too much to bear for me. Am I wrong to break this off because it all happened before we met? Do I need to break free or carry on trying? People say I'm being stupid because it was all before we met but if this makes me unhappy, what am I to do? Thanks
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I completely agree with Dr Pete.
It is a shame when the past affects the future in this way, but the past is all part of our make up.
I have found that a bad past can actually make you a better person.
I feel it is important to be honest at the beginning of any relationship, then lies and insecurities are not as likely to creep in and ruin things.
He has been with women in the past, but he has been with you for 12 months. This shows his commitment to you.
The past was before he met you and I think he would change it for you if he could.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): 8 months of unhappiness in a 12 months relationship is not good.
You arn't wrong for having the feelings you do. You are who you are, and your feelings are real to you.
I expect at 8 months on you have done all that you can to get over this problem, and I suspect if you haven't done already, you won't ever. It is a shame that your different pasts mean things haven't worked out, but at least you have learnt something for the future. If you do decide to break, and when you are ready to meet someone knew, just make sure you get to know someones past a little more before getting too emotionally involved, you don't want to repeat the same mistake again.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Will1000 +, writes (20 August 2006):
 It all depends....I mean does his past affect you or make you feel uneasy? If so maybe it's not a good idea to stay with him ultimately go with your feelings, sometimes thinking about somethingmakes it worse, just go with your feelings and do what feels right.
Hope that helps
W1000
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