A
male
age
51-59,
*edjpd
writes:Hi I have just broken up with my girlfriend after 3 and a half years together. Recently we have been fighting over really stupid little things and are both to stubborn to say sorry and so let things get out of control.I feel that a major part of our problem has been that we both are really dedicated to our jobs and work incongrous hours that means we don't get enough time together. We tried living together for 6 months but split up in August and I moved back. We decided to try again after september but not living together anymore. Things are great alot of the time but we always seem to let petty things drag us down. I know that she loves me and I love her deeply but she says now that she doesn't want to try anymore and doesn't need anymore time to think things through - she feels we have been down this road too many times in the past and that no matter how much talking we do we always end up back fighting and hurting each other.She says its time now to move on. I am finding this hard to accept and have tried to show her how much she means to me - I have asked her to take some time to consider things but she says she has done all the thinking she needs. I know there is nothing more I can do and must respect her decision even though I think that she is rushing it. I will probably just have to see if time changes the way she feels and not contact her anymore even though I want to - I am probably feeling guilty and sorry for myself and letting these feelings cloud my judgement. I must now try to move on. I would be grateful for any advise.
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male
reader, redjpd +, writes (27 March 2007):
redjpd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer - you are probably right and I know I must face up to that. I will let things now run there course and hopefully after some time apart she will see things in a more positive way. I think I was a good generous and loving partner and when we did get time together. When we did get time together things were generally great and I hope after a while apart she may remember that. I know what I would try to do to make our relationship work but know I may never get a chance again.
I get on well with her family and was considering maybe contacting her sister in a couple of weeks to see how my ex is (if I haven't heard anything by then) and if there would be anypoint in trying to make contact again. I know that when we split in August she was devastated but is probably alot stronger for that. As you say I just have to busy myself to try and keep her out of my head.
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Some times as much as you love someone, you just can't have any sort of relationship with them. Your ex girlfriend has come to a choice that is right for her and maybe in time you will see it's right for you too.
The only thing you can do is try to move on, spend time with friends, keep yourself busy and as time passes it will get easier, you just won't believe that right now.
Take Care.
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