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She seems apprehensive--do you think things can progress if I dont put pressure on her by telling her how I feel?

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Question - (3 March 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i am a lone parent of three teenagers, i have fallen head over heels for another lone parent, she has one child , we have been seeing each other now for two months, she says she cares for me a lot , but doesnt feel the same way towards me as i do towards her, i think it may be possible in time for her to feel the same way although im not too sure , she says she doesnt see me and her as a long term "thing" , yesterday was my birthday and she took me out for an amazing meal , made me feel totally special all evening , today she has gone back to hers and it feels to me as tho i am empty inside , i cant even tell her how i really feel for fear of frightening her away , i know i cannot make somebody love me , im not nieve , but i feel as tho i am setting myself up for heartache , she has a history of past b/fs being basically evil towards her and i realise this will of created barriers , so my question is , do you think things can progress if i dont put pressure on her by telling her how i feel?

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2007):

AskEve agony auntShe already KNOWS how you feel and she has told you she doesn't feel the same way. Now this may be because of her past relationships and she's setting herself up NOT to be hurt again and it may not. You need to decide and find out which!

Take things slowly with her, be there for her without being too in her face or overpowering her. Slowly let the relationship deepen and go at her pace. She is obviously keen or she wouldn't have given you such a lovely evening for your birthday. If you tell her how you feel about her you will certainly make her bolt in the opposite direction so I strongly advise you not to do that. Keep things between you light and friendly so she can build up her trust in you, so she'll see you would never hurt her, that you're there for her through thick and thin. Once the trust builds she might let her barriers down a bit but until then just take things slowly.

Don't be calling her every day, don't be texting her saying how much you miss her. All this will only put pressure on her. Let her miss you! Let her be the one to call you! Women like the challenge and don't like their men to be too into them too quickly so stand back a bit and let her chase.

Eve

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