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male
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anonymous
writes: i think this girl likes me, but i can't tell for sure. and it's confusing me so much. i'm so torn as to what to do or think. every time we go out with friends, they all wind up telling us that we behave like a married couple. we joke around and are mean to each other, like middle schoolers (even though we're 22). we push and shove, and just genuinely are extremely playful with one another (which i've noticed that i don't see her do with any of her other friends). one of my friends literally had to stand in between us so we wouldn't keep shoving each other (jokingly). i know it's so lame, but that's what we do.and last night, when we went out for drinks, there were three of us. and she got up to get a different chair because hers was broken. and rather than move to an open chair next to my friend, she choose to get a new chair, and drag it all the way back next to me. my friend was like 'why don't you just sit here next to me?' and she was just like 'oh, i don't know. i just wanted to sit here.' and i can't tell if that was her way of trying to be close to me, or if she just really wanted to sit in that spot. and last night, we went out to dinner just the two of us, and she told me that she had a dream that she was calling me baby, sweetie, hunny, the whole nine yards. and i wonder if that was her way of hinting at something. anyway, what do you think about this? it seems like all the signs are there that she's interested, but i just keep convincing myself that we're just friends and that i'm reading it all wrong. what do you think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2006): I had to smile reading your question about being 22 and the pushing and shoving!I am 52 and have found exactly the same thing with a senior colleague at work. There is no age limit to this comfortableness and playfulness once that feeling kicks in. I have been reading that men often need it spelling out and yes, I behave like her and want to be with this guy all the time. I have also noticed he always chooses to sit next to me!I think she has the attraction to you but it depends if you are attracted to her. Just be friends and take it slow and see what happens, the anticipation is just as much fun as getting there.
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (26 August 2006):
 I don't know how much more explicit she can be short of jumping you :)
My guess is that you are somewhat risk averse when it comes to pursuing a romantic relationship. You are thinking, I have such a great thing going with this gal pal so why mess it up by taking it to the next level?
The kindred spirit relationship is one of the most special kinds you can have with a person. It does not have to be a romantic type of relationship to be fulfilling. But it can't be fulfilling if it is not mutually nurtured. It takes hard work by both people to achieve this kind of relationship. I can tell you from personal experience that kindred spirits are those few people that will walk with you through fire, and they are true friends for life.
Perhaps you would like to know first if your gal pal is a kindred spirit. If you are not ready to take it to the next level then work on solidifying the non-romantic relationship with your gal pal. Talk to her openly about your feelings and fears over a nice dinner and a long walk. You will never know if she is a kindred spirit otherwise.
Good luck and take care.
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